


pentagirls

by hong2won



Series: pentagram [1]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: 10tagon are all mages, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Genderfluid Character, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Magic!AU, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other, Pansexual Character, Polyamory, Trans Character, a mess, chat fic, it's a genderbent au but they're already dating and it's not about sex, jinhongseok are angsty bc i love making the gays suffer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15088961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hong2won/pseuds/hong2won
Summary: shinwonlol hongseok's got tiddieshongseokSHINWON IM GONA FUCKIGN STRANGLE OYU





	1. i think we have an emergency

**Author's Note:**

> there are so many things i could apologise for about this fic so im not gonna lol
> 
> anyway yes this is a genderbent fic bc i myself absolutely hate them so i had to make an lgbt friendly version for all my trans peeps waddup
> 
> this is part chat fic but im not creative enough for nicknames plus i'll end up confusing myself if i add them so there arent any
> 
> also! here's a list of everyone's magic specialties bc i know it gets confusing! their powers arent a main part of the fic it just makes things more interesting and contributes to the plot
> 
> jinho - concrete  
> hongseok - fire  
> wooseok - video/tech  
> hyojong - earth  
> hui - water  
> hyunggu - heat  
> yuto - dark  
> changgu - fabric  
> yanan - air  
> shinwon - paper
> 
> title from paramore's [ emergency](https://youtu.be/mgJ8BZi3vTA)

_Wednesday 27th June - 9:59am_

 

Hui stretches tiredly as he finishes the last of his paperwork. The application process to get a clan officially recognised by the council is by far the biggest headache Hui has ever experienced. He'd just gotten back from Thailand the night before and anyone would call him crazy for choosing paperwork over sleep but Hui muses that's just the kind of sacrifices he has to make for his clan. Thankfully once these papers are signed and stamped it's just a matter of waiting for official approval and Hui could not be more thankful.

The trip to Thailand had taken a lot out of him, both physically and mentally. He'd been accompanied by Jinho and Shinwon and while he thoroughly enjoyed their company it was just really hard to keep up with Shinwon's disappearing acts. Every time the paper mage got bored he'd send a stack of papers flying at Hui and Jinho's faces and escape before they could see again. It was a nightmare.

So Hui was a little exhausted, and maybe that's why on one of their last nights in Thailand he spotted a display stand selling what looked like face masks and decided it'd be a great idea to bring some home for his friends. He couldn't afford seven, needing enough money leftover for breakfast the next morning, but he figured if he gave one to each household they could just share.

(He failed to notice the way the face masks magically replenished once he walked away with four in hand.)

He woke early this morning and headed straight to the library to finish off all the applications, tired of putting it off and he's feeling accomplished when he finally makes his way out of the library hours later. He's in the middle of wondering what to make Hyojong for dinner and worrying over how the plant mage is doing at home - the two had barely seen each other since Hui got back late last night and he was too exhausted to do anything except sleep - when he's acutely aware of his phone ringing.

"Jinho what's up?"

"Check the groupchat, we uh.. have an emergency."

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_< hui has entered the chat  >_

 

**hongseok**

SHINWON I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SAY ONE MORE THING

 

**shinwon**

uh,,,, idk what ur talking abt noona,,,,

 

**hui**

What's going on?

 

**hongseok**

MY DICK IS GONE

 

**hui**

What?

Are you ok?! Do you need driving to the hospital?!

What the fuck happened?!

 

**hongseok**

IDK IT FELL OFF IN MY SLEEP

 

**hyojong**

thers a dick theif on the lsose

 

**hui**

What?!

 

**hongseok**

FNJSKFJIDKDSJ

 

**shinwon**

lol shut up hyojong

 

**jinho**

Okay everyone calm down I'll explain.

You know those facemasks we brought back from thailand?

 

**hui**

Yeah??

 

**jinho**

Well it turns out they're enchanted.

Last I saw Hongseok he was passed out on the couch with the facemask on

Walk out of my room this morning and well

Hongseok's a girl

 

**shinwon**

lol hongseok's got tiddies

 

**hongseok**

SHINWON IM GONA FUCKIGN STRANGLE OYU

 

**hui**

Wait what?! I'm still confused

 

**jinho**

He turned into a girl

I don't know how but he has.. all the parts

 

**shinwon**

oooh,, how do you know that jinho

 

**yanan**

for the love of god don’t answer that

there are children in this chat

 

**jinho**

He was walking around shirtless this morning

It took him like twenty minutes to realise

 

**yanan**

what the fuck hongseok how did it take you that long

 

**hongseok**

IM NOT A MORNING PERSON OKAY

 

**yanan**

ok but is your capslock broken or is this a conscious decision

 

**hui**

Wait has anyone else used the facemask?

 

**changgu**

…

 

**hyojong**

…

 

**hui**

Oh god don’t tell me

Both of you?!

 

**yanan**

yeah changgu woke up last night crying

 

**changgu**

he didn't recognise me this morning and called the cops ( ͒˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ ͒)

 

**hongseok**

HAHAHHAAHAHAA

 

**yanan**

I PANICKED OKAY

 

**hyojong**

lol u almst gt ur bf arrsted

 

**yanan**

shut the fuck up shrimp

 

**hyojong**

shrimp...

 

**shinwon**

What Does That Even Mean

 

**changgu**

yanan where are you i need cuddles ( ͒˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ ͒)

 

**yanan**

omw!!!!!!

 

**shinwon**

lol whipped

 

**hui**

....Anyway

Hyojong? You too?

 

**hyojong**

lol yeah

I gt bord ths mrnging wating 4 u

i thot i ws lucid drming till hognseoki strted yellng on th gc

 

**yanan**

could you repeat that in a language at least one of us can understand

you have 4 options

 

**hyojong**

its prytty cool tho

did yu nwp boobs ar e a lot hevier thn they lok?

I trid runnign to the bahtrom and gt hit in the fce

 

**shinwon**

lol what if u died

like it hit u so hard you got knocked out and smacked ur head and died

 

**hongseok**

JNDSJKJFSDMKJDMK

 

**jinho**

Death by tiddy

 

**hongseok**

GOALS

 

**hyojong**

betryd by my own chesticles

 

**hongseok**

CHESITLCE S IM WHEEZNGN

 

**yanan**

what the fuck

 

**hui**

I hate this conversation

 

**hyojong**

huiiiiiiii cn u by me a bra

 

**hui**

Sure thing baby!

 

**shinwon**

this is so wrong in so many ways,  ,,

 

**jinho**

Wait wait wait

Where are the babies?

 

**hongseok**

OH GOD

SOMEONE CALL THEM

 

< _yuto has entered the chat >_

 

**yuto**

um

it's too late

also we're not babies

 

**hui**

Oh god

Yuto not you too?!

 

**shinwon**

tbh I bet yuto makes a hot girl ;)

 

**yuto**

shut the fuck out

its not me its hyunggu

 

**hongseok**

SHUT THE FUCK OUT

 

**yuto**

you should have heard him scream

ive never jumped out of bed so fast

 

**hyunggu**

he ran straight into the bathroom door :(

i feel so bad :(

 

**shinwon**

rip yuto's last two braincells

 

**hyunggu**

hey shinwon wanna know what it feels like to be castrated :)

 

**shinwon**

jesus fucking christ

ok backing off

 

**hui**

Okay so

Hyunggu, changgu, hyojong and hongseok are all...

Different

 

**changgu**

we're girls ( ͒˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ ͒)

 

**hui**

Right okay

Please tell me that’s everyone

 

**hyojong**

as fr as I knw yeh

 

**shinwon**

i still have my dick lol

 

**yanan**

for now bitch

 

**shinwon**

????????

how rude???

 

**hui**

Okay let's just shut up and think this through

Did anyone read the instructions on the back before using the facemask?

 

**changgu**

i tried but they werent in korean (´;ω;｀)

i didnt even recognise the language

 

**hui**

That's concerning

 

**yanan**

what do we do?

 

**shinwon**

orgy lol

 

_< shinwon was removed from the group chat  >_

 

_< shinwon has joined the group chat  >_

 

**shinwon**

rude,,, ,

 

**hui**

Everyone meet at me and hyo's apartment in half an hour

And bring snacks I have a feeling this will take a while

 


	2. 큰일났어 (i'm in trouble)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry! It's not every day your boyfriend suddenly sprouts," he gestures wildly to Hyunggu's chest, careful to keep his eyes on the floor, "those."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of them finally uses their powers!! is it for good or evil? stay tuned to find out
> 
> forgot to say in the first chapter so big thank u to my other half drew for helping me with this mess ily <3 and my other pals for reading my drafts and encouraging me a lot i love yall so much 
> 
> title from teen top's [ s.o.s](https://youtu.be/BjXzuVLwTJk)

_Wednesday - 9:07am_

 

Hyunggu was having a great morning. Really. He'd woken up squished between his two favourite boys, warm and cozy and heart absolutely full. He kissed Wooseok goodbye when it was time for the younger to leave for his morning lecture, clinging to him till the last possible second before the door closed. Then he'd dragged Yuto out of bed, the two settling on the couch to eat breakfast and exchange lazy kisses. They had a few hours till Yuto had to leave for work at his parents bookstore so they spent most of their morning cuddling.

Then, Yuto had decided to catch up on some reading, leaving Hyunggu to his own devices. He decided on a shower, his body sore from an extra intense dance practice the day before and by the time he's out he's beyond relaxed. He's in the middle of towel drying his hair when he spots the face mask his friends brought back from Thailand, barely hesitating before twisting the lid off and appyling it all over his face.

He probably should have realised something was wrong when not even 5 minutes after applying it he could barely keep his eyes open and ended up falling asleep in the (thankfully empty) bathtub.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

When he wakes up, an hour later, he immediately knows something is wrong. For starters his pants that fit perfectly when he got out of the shower are now very tight around the hips and loose everywhere else. Secondly, he can't even look down at himself without his very prominent chest getting in the way. Also maybe he's jumping to conclusions but he swears his hair has gotten longer.

In conclusion, Hyunggu wakes up in a different body than he fell asleep in, so the only natural thing for him to do is scream. Unfortunately that only causes him to panic even more because _holy shit could I always scream that high?_   Quickly snapping his mouth shut he focuses on his breathing, wracking his brain for what could have possibly caused this. The only thing he can think of is the face mask so he grabs it, flipping it over to read the warning label but it's all in a language he's never seen before. _Where the hell did they find this?_

He's startled out of his thoughts by a thump at the bathroom door followed by a soft groan.

"Hyunggu? Are you okay? Was that you? I thought I heard a scream." Yuto sounds frantic on the other side of the door. Hyunggu carefully climbs out of the bathtub, hating the way his new chest lumps react to gravity. He hobbles over to the door, throwing it open and watching as his boyfriend's eyes climb up from the floor and freeze above his stomach. His face turns an almost impressive shade of red and then he's looking absolutely everywhere else. Hyunggu would laugh at the almost frightened look on his boyfriend's face if he weren't just as, if not more terrified himself.

"I'm sorry ma'am, um, are you lost?" Yuto keeps his eyes down and crosses his hands in front of him, like he does when he's either uncomfortable, talking to a stranger, trying to be polite or all of the above.

"It's me dummy." He sighs, stepping closer. He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest when Yuto's eyes dart back to his new additions.

"Boy, my eyes are up here!" He slaps him across the arm and only feels a little bad when he lets out a startled yell.

"I'm sorry! It's not every day your boyfriend suddenly sprouts," he gestures wildly to Hyunggu's chest, careful to keep his eyes back on the floor, "those." He finishes lamely. "How did this even happen? I don't understand."

Hyunggu lets out a sigh and drops his arms, suddenly exhausted. "I don't know, I think it might have been the face mask that the guys brought back but I can't be sure. We should ask if anyone else has used it yet."

Yuto finally looks up to meet Hyunggu's eyes and nods. He gently takes his hand and leads him to the couch, pulling Hyunggu down to sit in his lap and slipping his phone out of his pocket. Hyunggu follows suit, slightly surprised to see the group chat already in chaos, wondering how both he and Yuto managed to completely miss their phones going off so violently. He's immensely relieved to find out he's not the only one of his friends effected by the face mask. Of course he's worried about how all of them are coping with the change but he can admit that it feels good to not be alone in this experience. Yuto seems to notice his reaction and reaches over to give his hand a comforting squeeze.

"We should call Wooseok." Hyunggu announces once Hui's invited everyone over. "I could really use a bra right now."

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_Wednesday - 11:23am_

 

The first thing Wooseok does when he walks through the door and spots him is stare. Hyunggu doesn't even notice  until he stands to his feet, Yuto helping him when he almost loses his balance, and looks up at his younger boyfriend only to notice his eyes stuck 30 centimetres lower than they should be.

Frowning and snapping his fingers he almost yells "Wooseok! Quit staring at my tits!"

"S-sorry!" He stutters, looking not even the least bit apologetic, "What's going on?"

"It's a long story." Yuto starts, gesturing for them to sit on the couch. Yuto sits first, Hyunggu resting easily in his lap, arms coming to rest around his waist and legs laying across Wooseok's lap. "But the short version is that Hyunggu used an enchanted facemask and now he's got a girl body."

"So those are real?! I thought you were trying to prank someone!" Wooseok finally looks embarassed about staring earlier. "This explains the bras and- oh god." He pales.

"What? What happened?" Hyunggu asks, sharing a concerned look with Yuto.

"Hui... I saw him getting lingerie and thought he was cheating on Hyojong. Oh god I'm such an idiot." He groans and sinks down the couch dramatically, taking Hyunggu's legs with him.

"Oh god Wooseok what did you do?" Yuto asks, looking rightly panicked. Hui may be their kind and caring leader but the man had a temper none could match. Instead of replying Wooseok sinks all the way off the couch, Hyunggu pulling his legs up before he gets pulled off too. He reaches down and cards his fingers through Wooseok's hair comfortingly.

"Anyway can I please put a bra on now? My back is kinda sore." He pouts and Wooseok does an impressive show of flexibility as he attempts to reach the bag he dropped at the door without leaving his spot by the couch. He gives up after a few minutes of struggling, groaning and laughter from the two boys on the couch, crawling the rest of the way and throwing the bag not too gently at Hyunggu who narrowly avoids a stray bra strap to the eye. He stands and makes his way to the bathroom, Wooseok quickly taking his spot on Yuto's lap and planting a loud kiss on the boys mouth. Hyunggu huffs and saunters off to the bedroom to grab some baggier clothes before locking himself in the bathroom.

He dumps the contents of the bag on the counter, unsure where to start. There are a variety of sizes and styles to choose from and Hyunggu really wishes he knew how bra measurements worked. He picks one at random to try on and struggles with the clasp for several minutes before finally getting it on. The first one, unsurprisingly, doesn't fit but it's not hard to figure out the right measurements after that. Thankfully in his hurry Wooseok managed to grab one that fit Hyunggu almost perfectly. It's one of the simpler ones in the bag; black in colour and without any extra embellishment.

He gazes over his reflection in the mirror, still getting used to the new curves of his body. He wonders what his boyfriends think of this whole situation; are they disgusted? Scared? Uncomfortable? He can't help but worry about them; he always does. He frowns at himself for a while longer before throwing the rest of his clothes on and walking out.

His boyfriends are exactly where he left them, Wooseok on his phone and Yuto reading over his shoulder. He calls out to them as he heads to the bedroom to grab his wallet and keys, letting them know they'll be leaving soon and he can hear them groan loudly in protest, both clearly too comfortable on the couch. He chuckles and heads back out to the living room and he swears the look on Wooseok's face when he glances over Hyunggu's now baggy shirt can only be described as disappointment.

He goes to put his shoes on, Yuto getting the hint and throwing Wooseok off his lap, the youngest whining and kicking out as Yuto steps over him. When Wooseok finally gets up and joins them at the front door Hyunggu is leaning against the wall waiting, arms crossed and phone out. He looks up when the younger stops directly in front of him, looking hesitant like he wants to say something but doesn't know if he should.

"What is it babe?" Hyunggu asks, rubbing his arm in comfort.

"Can I touch them?" He lets out a loud yell as Hyunggu slaps him across the arm. "What?! I just want to know if they feel real..." Hyunggu doesn't reply, just hurries him along and Wooseok obediently slips his shoes on and waits in the hallway, Yuto following suit.

"Later." He mumbles shyly when they're walking to the elevator. Yuto snorts loudly, Wooseok and Hyunggu both blushing something terrible. _Later,_ he thinks.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_Wednesday - 11:45am_

 

_< hyojong has entered the chat  >_

 

**hyojong**

um y tf does hui hv a blck eye???

 

_< wooseok has entered the chat  >_

 

**wooseok**

IM SORRY

I SAW HIM BUYING LINGERIE AND I THOUGHT HE WAS CHEATING ON YOU

IM SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW

 

**hongseok**

HAHAHAHAHHUNDJCDNJFJV

 

**yanan**

OH MY FUCKING GOD

 

**jinho**

Wooseok what did you do????

 

**hongseok**

IM C YRIGN

 

_< hui has entered the chat  >_

 

**hui**

I'VE NEVER FELT SO BETRAYED

 

**changgu**

hui hyung are you okay? ( ´△｀)

 

**hui**

NO

HE DROP KICKED ME INTO THE CLOTHING RACK

IT TOOK ME 15 MINUTES TO GET OUT

 

**shinwon**

he reached his final form,,

half human,, ,

half clothing rack

 

**yanan**

wooseok what were you even doing there?

 

_< hyunggu has entered the chat  >_

 

**wooseok**

yuto wanted me to pick up a bra on my way home but he wouldn’t say why

I guess it makes sense now

but I swear I didn’t know!!

he just said there was some emergency with hyunggu and he really needed me to buy a bra

I was in such a rush to get home I even hit my head getting off the bus again

 

**hyunggu**

babe that’s the third time this week :c

are you hexed??

 

**yanan**

he's not hexed he's just freakishly tall

 

**wooseok**

we're the same height bitch

 

**yanan**

what did you just say

 

**hongseok**

*kill bill sirens*

 

**shinwon**

rip my dude

 

_< wooseok has left the chat  >_

 

**hongseok**

wooseok?

wooseok??

oh my fucking god he fucking dead

 

**jinho**

He's probably not dead

 

**shinwon**

*looks into the camera like it's the office*

 

**hyojong**

gys boobs r so gr8

thyre so soft and squihsy

 

**hongseok**

SPEAK FOR YOUR FUCKING SELF

its only been a few hours and my back is fucking KILLING ME

I CANT WALK ANYWHERE WITHOUT HOLDING MY TITS

 

**shinwon**

maybe jinho could hold them for you lol

w;e2'13;2'1

 

**hongseok**

HA BITCH

 

**changgu**

oh no

what happened (　ﾟдﾟ)

 

**hongseok**

JINHO LIFTED A PIECE OF CONCRETE OFF THE SIDEWALK AND SHINWON TRIPPED OVER IT AND FACEPLANTED

 

**jinho**

Bitch :)

 

**yanan**

that smiley face is fucking terrifying

 

**hui**

Wait you guys are together?

 

**jinho**

Yeah we met up with Shinwon on the walk over

We'll be there in 10 minutes

 

**hui**

Okay see you soon!

 

**shinwon**

im like tt, ,,,

just like tt,,, , ,

 

**yanan**

is no one gonna point out that hongseok just implied he's walking around in public with his tiddies in his hands

...

no one????

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only endings i know are abrupt ones!


	3. let's burn it out (불붙여)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Babe you know me, why wouldn't I be naked?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer #1 i changed the rating just to be safe but i am 300% soft stan, i cant write smut and i dont plan to so if you came for smut you can log out now that aint what this fic is about
> 
> disclaimer #2 in case it wasnt obvious (which it absolutely wasnt) jinho and hongseok are the only ones (besides shinwon sorry bb) who aren't dating but we'll find out more about them in chapter 5/6 i promise!
> 
> chapter title from spectrum's [light it up](https://youtu.be/cRi-UiA2-f0) (불붙여)

_Wednesday - 11:31am_

 

"Babe?"

Hui calls out as soon as he hobbles through the door of his and Hyojong's shared apartment. He accidentally hits his sore shoulder on the door as he tries to close it and hisses loudly, rubbing the spot and kicking his shoes off. It's really not his day. Honestly, who knew Wooseok was so strong? And so damn protective over his friends? (He stubbornly ignores the small part of him that's proud at how loyal the younger is).

Nonetheless he spent the entire walk home stressing himself out. After getting the bras for Hyojong he'd called him and started fussing and worrying as he always does but Hyojong had done nothing but give him soft reassurances and promises that he was doing just fine and there was nothing to be worried about. Still, he couldn't help but overwork his brain.

He's lost in his thoughts as he enters the living room and is caught completely off guard when an Unidentified Naked Object comes hurtling towards him and knocks him to the ground. Hui hisses as his ass makes contact with the ground for the second time that day and whines loudly when the culprit just buries their face in his neck.

"Huiiiiiiiiiiiii I missed you." Hyojong mumbles. Hui is relieved to find he is mostly the same, though his voice is unmistakably higher and there are weird soft lumps pressing against Hui's chest. He looks down at his boyfriend and can't help the soft smile that spreads across his face. It's still Hyojong. The same eyes, just ever slightly rounder, same soft cheeks and quirky smile and Hui is still so stupidly in love.

Hyojong finally lifts his head and as soon as he spots Hui's undoubtedly bruising face his eyebrows shoot straight up to his hairline. 

"You fought someone?!" He screeches, eyes darting around Hui's face in worry. "Ah." He scrambles to his feet, holding out a hand to gently help Hui up, mumbling apologies and checking for any more external injuries. Hui waves him off.

"Ah, it's a long story. Ask Wooseok." Hui chuckles. Hyojong hums and starts peppering gentle kisses across his face until Hui's giggling and half heartedly trying to dodge them. His boyfriend stops for a beat before cupping his jaw and kissing him properly. Hui can't help but smile into the kiss, noticing Hyojong's lips are just a little softer than usual. He's also pretty sure Hyojong is the same height as him now, no longer needing to lean down ever so slightly to kiss him.

"As much as I would love to keep kissing you all day," He mumbles against Hyojong's lips, unable to really find it in him to pull away completely, "The guys are gonna be here soon and we need to get some clothes on you." He pinches Hyojong's bare thigh to punctuate the end of the sentence and laughs at the high pitched scream he lets out. He catches himself after a moment, reeling back to look at his boyfriend properly.

"Babe, why _are_ you naked?" He doesn't give Hyojong time to answer before continuing the string of questions that he hadn't realised had been building up since he got home. "And since when do you use facemasks? The last time I tried to get you to use one you ended up eating it off your face."

"Not my fault you used an edible one." Hyojong replies without missing a beat.

"It was avocado and banana!"

"Like I said, edible." He grins cheekily and steals a kiss before running off to their bedroom, Hui laughing in disbelief and running after him.

"Ya! You didn't answer me!" He yells as he enters the room and spots Hyojong squatted on the bed in some weird form of martial arts. Hui jumps on top of him, careful of his sore body parts, and aggressively cuddles him.

"Is this supposed to get me to talk?" Hyojong mumbles from where his face is smushed against Hui's chest. Hui stubbornly flops onto his side, bringing Hyojong with him and wrapping his legs around his waist. To prevent escape of course. Hyojong gives up rather quickly.

"Babe you know me," He sighs dramatically, "why wouldn't I be naked?" Hui pauses for a moment to consider this before reluctantly agreeing. "And I kinda saw the group chat and figured it'd be fun to be a girl for a few days y'know? We could try so many new things." He whispers the last part, biting his lip and running a hand down his bare torso that Hui tries really, really hard not to follow with his eyes. He shakes his head and looks away. He can't say he's all that surprised that Hyojong chose to use the face mask knowing full well what effect it had.

"Not now Hyojongie you need to get changed, they're gonna be here soon." He climbs off the bed before Hyojong can stop him, fanning his cheeks as he heads back to grab the bag of bras he left in the living room.

When he returns he finds Hyojong laid on his stomach, phone open on the group chat no doubt figuring out what the hell happened at the lingerie store. Hui rubs his lower back and winces at the memory, mind going over ways to get revenge on Wooseok.

Hui dumps all the different options on the bed beside Hyojong, his boyfriend glancing over with interest before throwing his phone on the bed behind them. They spend about ten minutes trying them on - Hyojong insists he can't do the bras up himself and Hui really can't say no. Most of them are too small or pinchy but they finally settle on a dark red lacy piece. Hui thinks it would probably look better with the matching set of underwear but he kind of loves the way it looks with the black pair of boxers Hyojong slips into.

"Oh my god these boxers are so much breezier without a dick." Hyojong announces suddenly and Hui chokes on a laugh and playfully kicks him in the ass as he walks past him to find a pair of jeans.

They have ten minutes to spare by the time they make it out to the kitchen to wait for their friends to arrive. They really have nothing to do while they wait, Hui absentmindedly grabbing a glass of water and Hyojong perched on the counter watching, legs swinging back and forth rhythmically. Hui looks over at him, eyes roaming over the outfit he chose. He'd decided to wear one of Hui's old crop tops (back from when Hui thought if he didn't dress like a stereotypical gay man no one would take his sexuality seriously) to show off his new smooth stomach and a pair of black skinny jeans that surprisingly still fit and made his ass look great as always.

They last an impressive 3 minutes of sexual tension filled silence before Hui has to do something about it, slipping between Hyojong's legs all too easily and dragging his fingers across his exposed stomach. Hyojong smirks down at him like he's been proven right and Hui can only kiss it away, hands steadily finding new places to explore.

To be absolutely, completely fair, he forgot he gave Hongseok a spare key.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_< hongseok has entered the chat  >_

_< shinwon has entered the chat  >_

 

**hongseok**

MY FUCKING EYES

 

**shinwon**

HONGSEOK I'M BEGGING YOU SET ME ON FUCKING FIRE

 

_< hui has entered the chat_

_< hyojong has entered the chat  >_

 

**hui**

That’s what you get for not knocking!

 

**hyojong**

lol u gys r fnny

 

**wooseok**

um what happened

 

**hongseok**

YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW

 

**shinwon**

oh,, woosoek

you,,, you really don’t want to know

your innocence,, , ,  treasure it

 

**wooseok**

stfu im not a virgin

 

**hui**

WHAT

SON WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

 

**hyojong**

yeh son get that dick

 

**hongseok**

oh god hui's gonna have a heart attack

 

**wooseok**

what? I'm legal

and so is yuto and hyunggu

 

**hui**

STOP

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

 

**hyojong**

YEET

THTS MY BOY

 

**hui**

STOP ENCOURAGING HIM

 

**shinwon**

well well well

how does it feel hui

karma is,,,

,, , a  bitch,,,,

 

**hui**

THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

I DIDN'T HAVE THE OPTION OF KNOCKING

 

**jinho**

Actually we did knock

Hongseok waited a total seven (7) seconds before giving up and using his key

If it's anyone's fault it's his

 

**hongseok**

 

**yanan**

you're all fucking weird

and for the record none of us are virgins

 

**hui**

WHAT

HOW DO YOU KNOW

MY CHILDREN

TAINTED

 

**hongseok**

PLEASE never use the word tainted ever again

 

**shinwon**

t a i n t e d

 

_< hui has left the chat  >_

 

**shinwon**

my god you've broken him

 

**hyojong**

hell b fine

he goes thru at lest 3 of thse a week

 

**yanan**

how do you deal with that

 

**hyojong**

sex mstly

 

**yanan**

WHY THE FUCK

 

**hyojong**

lol u asked

 

**hongseok**

ABORT MISSION

 

**shinwon**

hongseok now would be a great time to give me a viking funeral

 

**hongseok**

SHUT YP

 

**wooseok**

um guys we're here can you let us in we've been knocking for five minutes

 

**hyojong**

wons cming

 

**shinwon**

please never call me won ever again

 

**hyojong**

whats won with it

 

**yanan**

THE ONE TIME YOU SPELL EVERYTHING CORRECTLY AND ITS FOR A FUCKING PUN

I quit

 

**hyojong**

:D


	4. i know the shape of your heart (니 마음의 모양을 난 알아)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _This isn't Changgu????_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and bad and very late im so sorry i tried to get it done before uni started but i was travelling and I just never found the time and kinda forgot about it???? 
> 
> anyway the next chapter is long and mostly story based but there are some excellent chats coming later i promise 
> 
> title from minseo's [the grand dreams](https://youtu.be/pyKbj8j2qss)

_Wednesday - ????am_

 

It's sometime in the very early morning when Yanan is startled awake by the sound of a slamming door. If he were anywhere else he'd be swearing until his lungs gave out at whatever or whoever interrupted his beauty sleep. As it is, he's in his bedroom, the one he shares with the love of his life, who he can never find it in himself to be mad at over anything, ever.

Groaning loudly he rolls over to face the bathroom where the only source of light in the previously pitch black room is coming from. Usually Changgu tries his hardest to stay quiet if he needs to use the bathroom after they've gone to bed. He could have just forgotten and hadn't mean to slam it, but he would have come back out and whispered an apology. Maybe he's mad at Yanan for something? Yanan wracks his brain for something he did that could have pissed the older off earlier that night. The last thing they did before bed was Changgu used that face mask their friends brought them from Thailand. Yanan thought it smelt weird and refused to kiss him when he asked for a goodnight peck. He doesn't think that's something Changgu would get mad at him for though.

Yanan really would like to go back to sleep, but his body refuses to without Changgu beside him so he's forced to suffer alone till his boyfriend returns. After about ten minutes of waiting he finally drags his tired body out of bed, feet stumbling over themselves to get to the bathroom door.

"Chnggu beb iz 4am." Yanan slurs, stifling a yawn. "Are yokay? Plez open th'door." He knocks a few times for good measure, listening to the quiet shuffling from the other side of the door.

"I'm okay just go back to sleep babe." Changgu calls, voice strained. As tempting as the offer is, Yanan would like to think of himself as a good boyfriend. Letting out a long suffering sigh he slumps against the wall beside the door, dramatically sliding down and letting his head rest against it.

"Nocndo. 'Mgnna slp here if i havto." He stifles another yawn and let's his eyes slip closed. Maybe his body will let him sleep now that he's closer to Changgu, separated only by a thin wall.

He's so close to drifting off when he's startled back to reality by the bathroom door swinging open. He barely has the energy to open his eyes, and all he can do is let out a soft whine as delicate hands wrap around his midsection and help him to stand.

"Come on babe let's get you back to bed." Changgu sighs but even without looking Yanan knows he's smiling.

They crawl back into bed, Yanan's eyes glued closed way before his head hits the pillow. Changgu buries his face in Yanan's chest, cuddled as close as physically possible without completely lying on top of him. As Yanan finally drifts back to the land of the unconscious there's a quiet part of his brain wondering if Changgu's voice had gotten higher.

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

It's just after 6 when Yanan wakes again. He and Changgu managed to switch positions in their sleep; Yanan's head now squished against his chest and leg stuck in between Changgu's thighs. He takes a deep inhale and prepares to roll over but as he does so his head wobbles a bit and he realises his cheek is actually pressed against something really, really squishy. He freezes, slow brain finally registering that his leg should not be that far up without making Changgu incredibly uncomfortable.

_This isn't Changgu????_

He leaps out of bed so fast he gets his leg caught in the sheets and falls flat on his face. He blindly searches for his phone on the bedside table, panicking when the person in the bed starts moving as if they're waking up. He finds his phone while trying to untangle his leg from its sheet prison. He almost chokes when the person in bed sits up, sheets draped over their head and (conveniently) obscuring Yanan's view of their face.

"WHOEVER YOU ARE I'M CALLING THE POLICE SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO LEAVE!!!" He screams in rushed Mandarin, flailing his leg in a desperate last attempt to free it. He doesn't want to die like this, betrayed by his own Egyptian cotton.

"What are you yelling about so early?" The sheet lump whines as Yanan finally triumphs and gets his leg free. He immediately starts crawling for the door. Maybe he can make it out of the apartment before the trespasser figures out what's happening. He doesn't think he has much of a chance but he'll take whatever he can get.

"Yananie what's going on?" He hears Changgu's voice from behind him and that makes him freeze because that doesn't make sense. There's a stranger in the bed, but they sound like Changgu, and it can't be Changgu because the stranger is a female but there's only one person in the bed which means-

"Uh?" He asks, intelligently. He glances back at Changgu to see him sitting with the sheets held against his chest and the cutest confused pout on his face. "Please explain?"

Changgu's face morphs from sleepy confusion to normal confusion to realisation in a matter of a few seconds before he looks away sheepishly.

"Make me tea and I'll try."

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

Several hours later finds them in the bathroom, Yanan helping Changgu into a variety of leftover bras Wooseok had kindly dropped off. Yanan's almost certain Changgu knows how to put them on himself but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying himself. They were supposed to be at Hui's twenty minutes ago but Changgu can't decide on which colour bra to wear and Yanan doesn't really have the heart to stop him. He also really doesn't care that they're late.

By the time Changgu finally picks one they're almost forty minutes late. Neither of them feel bad for keeping their friends waiting - they even take an extra three minutes to make out against the front door because they're gay and in love and if Hui gets mad, well, let him be mad.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_Wednesday - 12:46pm_

  
_< yanan has entered the chat  >_

_< changgu has entered the chat  >_

**yanan**  
sorry we're late we'll be there soon  
changgu got carried away trying on bras

**hongseok**  
oh my gOD

**shinwon**  
lol that's a sentence i never thought i'd read

**hyunggu**  
awwwww  
uwu

**changgu**  
theyre really cute okay!

**yanan**  
he looks so fucking cute oh my god  
have i died and gone to heaven?

**changgu**  
i hope so  
that means we're there together ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

**yanan**  
CLUTCHES CHEST

**hongseok**  
VOMS

**shinwon**  
this is DISGUSTING

**wooseok**  
thats so gay

**hyunggu**  
uwu  
you two are adorable ^^

**hyojong**  
gt a room

**changgu**  
thank you hyunggu ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ

**wooseok**  
really really hate to interrupt but please hurry up  
shinwon just called hyojong 'hyojong noona' so he's chasing him around the apartment, tiddies in hands, screaming higher than ever  
seriously you think he could scream high before  
you have no idea

**hui**  
hyojongie went super saiyan xD

**changgu**  
we're on our way!! ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the next chapter: more nudity, more screaming, more gays


	5. 난 사랑 앞에선 늘 찌질이 (in front of love i'm a loser)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hongseok put a fucking shirt on I'm begging you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter!!!!!!
> 
> in case it wasn't obvious, title from pentagon's [shine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu2yQ1zYDYU)

_Tuesday - 11:09pm_

 

Hongseok is the first to try the face mask. It's late and he and Jinho have just arrived back from the airport. Jinho barely wastes a second before mumbling goodnight and disappearing into his room, leaving Hongseok to struggle with taking his shoes off alone. He sighs as he hears Jinho's door close, surrendering to lying on the floor and being emo instead.

 

He's had a crush on the older for a couple years now. (He swears it's not love, it can't be, shut up Shinwon.) It's not particularly difficult to deal with; every time he gets his hopes too high he remembers that one time he found Jinho with his tongue down some girl's throat at a college party and his head comes straight back to the ground. He knows how much of a fucking cliche this whole situation is: being in love with your presumably straight roommate. Presumably straight because that college incident is the only insight Hongseok's ever had into Jinho's sexuality, the older being a very reserved individual.

 

Shinwon is the only one Hongseok's actually told about the crush, years ago when it first developed and back then Shinwon was okay with it; never talked about it unless Hongseok brought it up first. But, well, in recent months it seems Shinwon has become fed up with, quote, "waiting for your angsty gay ass to do something about it." So he mentions it whenever he can, and Hongseok isn't sure whether the fact that Jinho has never commented on it is a good or bad sign.

 

He cuts his thoughts off there, checking the time and realising he spent half an hour just thinking about his stupid crush. Deciding he needs a distraction his eyes catch on the present Hui bought for them. He isn't particularly a fan of face masks but he figures it's the best disctraction he's got. Plus, he could do with some relaxation. _Self care!_

 

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_Wednesday - 5:59am_

 

Hongseok wakes on the couch, disoriented as all hell and barely able to open his eyes. He realises that he fell asleep with the face mask on. Grumbling under his breath he pulls his tired body off the couch, nearly toppling over the coffee table in the process.

 

He makes the journey to the bathroom, glancing at his reflection in the full length mirror hanging in the hall. He does a double take, sleepy eyes squinting at the reflection for a few seconds.

 

"Damn I really gotta clean this mirror." He mumbles to himself before continuing to the bathroom. He runs the tap till the water goes warm and works on washing away the crusty mask. He gets halfway through before falling asleep for a couple of seconds and jolting when he hears Jinho's door open from across the hall. Stifling a yawn he washes away the last of the facemask.

 

"Hongseok are you in there?" Jinho calls from behind the door and Hongseok melts at his rough morning voice. Damn he's so gay.

 

"Yeah I'll be out in a sec." He startles for a second, not used to his voice being so high in the morning. He really needs to start going to sleep at normal hours.

 

He pulls his shirt off while he's in there and chucks it in the laundry hamper, running is hands through his hair and opening the door to the bathroom.

 

"Finall-" Jinho cuts himself off with his own scream, covering his eyes and blindly running for his room.

 

 _That was rude. Not everyone can look so perfect in the morning_.

 

Grumbling insults under his breath he heads for the kitchen, still not fully awake and needing a caffeine burst if he was gonna have any chance of functioning like a normal human being today.

 

"Hongseok put a fucking shirt on I'm begging you." He hears Jinho from behind him shortly before a shirt lands on his face, temporarily blinding him. He angrily rips it off his face and turns to face the shorter. Jinho, literally, puts a wall between them before he can fully turn around.

 

"Look I don't understand why this is a problem," He vaguely gestures to where his abs are, eyes semi closed from drowsiness "unless you're like jealous or something? Because I'd be super willing to give you exercise tips but don't expect me to start wearing shirts to bed just because you have body issu-"

 

"Hongseok for god's sake look down!!" Jinho all but screams, poking his head around the solid concrete wall but eyes squeezed shut. Rolling his eyes, Hongseok does as instructed. And immediately shuts down.

 

_Hongseok.exe has stopped working._

 

_Searching for a solution . . ._

 

_Rebooting Hongseok.exe_

 

_Rebooting . . . 0%_

 

_Rebooting . . . 12%_

 

_Rebooting . . . 37%_

 

_Rebooting . . . 88%_

 

_Reboot successful._

 

"WHAT THE FUCK."

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_Wednesday - 1:22pm - Huidawn's Apartment_

 

"Okay so. What the fuck happened?"

 

Hui exhales a deep sigh from where he sits with Hyojong curled into his chest nearly asleep. They're gathered in his living room; him and Hyojong on one end of their L shaped couch, Yuto, Hyunggu and Wooseok cuddled together on the other end. Yanan and Changgu are draped across their armchair across the room, Hongseok and Jinho sitting on the floor in front of them and Shinwon lying under the coffee table.

 

Since Hui is technically the leader of their clan, it only makes sense that they commonly use his living room to hang out and have meetings. Plus, Hui is friends with the landlord so they don't have to worry so much about the damage they cause. See, most of the group generally don't like to use their powers unless they're all together - their clan bond ensures that their magic is more stable the more clan members are around. Unfortunately this means every hang out always turns into a competition of who can use their powers the most.

 

"Who bought the facemasks?" Changgu asks from across the room, arms crossed and brows furrowed. Hui wonders if the sex change has anything to do with why Changgu doesn't look nearly as intimidating as Hui assumes he (she?) is trying to look. Yanan catches his gaze and he quickly derails that train of thought.

 

"I did." Hui replies and immediately dodges the flame ball Hongseok throws his way. "But I didn't even know they were enchanted!!"

 

"How could you not know?? Where did you buy them from?" Yanan argues, looking like the mirror image of Changgu at this point and Hui would be cooing over how perfect the couple were for each other if he didn't feel like his life was currently hanging in the balance.

 

"I can't remember." He narrowly dodges the hiccup spell Yanan throws at his throat and thinks he may have deserved that one. "It's not my fault none of you shitheads read the instructions."

 

"Alright, alright children let's calm down. It doesn't matter who's fault it is we just need to figure out how to fix this." Jinho supplies helpfully and the room goes silent as everyone begins racking their brains for a solution.

 

"Does anyone know any sex change spells? Because that would be super helpful right now." Hongseok says, crossing his arms in front of his chest and startling when he remembers he has boobs now. Jinho rubs his arm comfortingly and Hui watches Hongseok's ears go red. It's uncomfortably silent for a few moments.

 

"Are you telling me there are ten different mages in this room, each of us specialising in completely different forms of magic, and NOBODY has any idea how to fix this?" Changgu huffs in disbelief.

 

"To be fair all Yanan's powers are good for are hair swept looks." Wooseok mumbles before he starts choking and Hui throws a sharp glare at Yanan who looks away like he's innocent as Wooseok takes in a few gasping breaths.

 

"Don't forget choking."

 

"Changgu would know all about that." Hui douses Yanan in cold water before he has a chance to choke Shinwon who's laughing gleefully from under the table. Hui kicks him in the shoulder.

 

"No kink shaming."

 

"I can send a message around asking the other clans if they know anything that would work." Changgu interrupts, voice louder than necessary, eyes steely and face flushed. Shinwon giggles and earns another kick in the shoulder.

 

"That's a good idea, I'll send a message to some of the clans out of the country." Hui nods in approval.

 

"Maybe the store has an antidote? We could send someone back there?" Hyunggu suggests, looking hopeful. Yuto quietly coos and pinches his cheek from next to him and Hongseok gags loudly.

 

"I guess that could work. Maybe the clerk who sold it to you might know how to reverse it."

 

"We just have to hope they speak Korean." Yuto mumbles.

 

"That's not a bad idea though." Hongseok agrees.

 

"Okay but who's going?" Before Hui has the chance to finish his sentence the living room is filled with his name, written in every magic form possible - Hongseok and Shinwon working together to burn his name onto a huge bit of paper, glitchy 8-bit from Wooseok, a cutely knitted version of his name from Changgu - which Hui actually wants to keep - and a small concrete statue of Hui's face from Jinho. He throws a betrayed look at the older who just shrugs and smiles innocently. Yanan aggressively blows in his face and Yuto and Hyunggu are just too busy giggling at each other that it's obvious they stopped listening a while ago. Hui is almost grateful for the lack of plants (besides the multitude of vines and pots decorating the entire apartment) until he hears Hyojong snoring softly beneath him. He can't even bring himself to be mad, just curls his fingers into Hyojong's hair and sighs tiredly.

 

"I can't. I need to be here for when the council approves our application and I can't afford to leave the country again."

 

"Okay then I vote Shinwon." Hongseok says immediately, smiling dangerously at the boy lying in front of him.

 

"Why me??" Shinwon squawks indignantly, creating a set of paper pearls to clutch dramatically.

 

"Because you're a dickhead." Hyojong slurs and the whole room erupts into laughter. Hui looks down and watches his boyfriend smiling proudly to himself, eyes still closed.

 

"I mean he's not wrong." Jinho supplies helpfully, flinching as a small army of paper planes start hurtling towards him. Fortunately Hongseok burns them all before they even touch him and Hui can see the heart eyes Jinho is sporting from across the room. He idly wonders if that's what he looks like when he looks at Hyojong.

 

"I agree. You didn't help me and Jinho at all when we were in Thailand. This is what you get for all those stupid stunts you pulled."

 

"Plus you don't have exams this year." Changgu pipes up looking thoughtful.

 

"No I absolutely object, this is against my rights as an American citizen and frankly I will not st-"

 

"Okay Shinwon's going." Jinho interrupts just as Yuto mumbles "You aren't even American." and Hyunggu breaks out into hysterical laughter. Yuto looks confused but pleased at the reaction.

 

"Now that that's out of the way we should probably discuss what we do in the meantime." Hui leans forward as he speaks, cupping Hyojong's face so he doesn't fall off his lap. "For starters, what pronouns are we using?"

 

"I for one don't care. He, she, they, I'm down for whatever." Hyunggu perks up, seeming really pleased about the topic and sending a wide grin to both his boyfriends.

 

"Should we still call you Hyunggu?" Wooseok asks and Hyunggu nods enthusiastically.

 

"Okay. Hyunggu, any pronoun, got it. Hongseok?"

 

"I would really love to pretend I still have my dick so please just, act like nothing changed." He rambles and Hui nods in understanding.

 

"Changgu?"

 

"She/her please." Changgu's face is flushed but Hui sees the small encouraging squeeze Yanan gives her hand and smiles to himself.

 

"Is Changgu still okay?" He asks and Changgu nods shyly.

 

"Okay that just leaves you Hyojongie." Hui looks down at Hyojong in his lap, eyes open sleepily and Hui's heart feels like it's about to burst. He sees Hyojong's lips move but he's too quiet so he doesn't quite catch what he says the first time.

 

"Whatever Hui wants to call me." Hyojong repeats, flashing his cheeky grin and Hui thinks he might actually combust.

 

"That's the gayest shit I've ever heard." Wooseok deadpans above the chorus of "aww"s and Hui buries his face in Hyojong's stomach, unable to form a coherent thought.

 

_Error 404 : Hui not found_

 

"As much as I would love to sit here and be disgusted, we have other things to worry about. Like how the hell we're supposed to live now." Hongseok huffs.

 

"I’ll call Hyuna, as long as you're all comfortable with her knowing she can help with the, uh.. technicalities." Hui rubs his neck and attempts to reach underneath Hyojong's body to slip his phone out of his pocket. Hyojong ends up falling off the couch and Hui kisses him on the head till Shinwon throws a piece of paper in his face that just reads "STOP".

 

"I trust Hyuna, she always buys me ice cream." Hyunggu says and grins up at Hui, who has to physically restrain himself from cooing and pinching their cheeks much like Yuto did earlier.

 

"Is everyone okay with this?" Hui specifically looks towards Hongseok, sensing he's the most uncomfortable in this situation and the other gives him a small nod.

 

"Great. Call her in the morning. Right now I wanna get drunk." Shinwon announces.

 

"It's not even 2 o'clock yet!" Hui's protests are drowned out by everyone's cheering, Hongseok already in the kitchen digging out their alcohol supply. Hyojong places a comforting kiss on the back of his hand before racing off to fetch the bottle of vodka from their room.

 

 

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_Thursday - 10:23am_

 

_< shinwon has entered the chat  >_

 

**shinwon**

is anyone awake

 

_< wooseok has entered the chat  >_

_< hongseok has entered the chat  >_

 

**wooseok**

me

I cnat feelmy arm

yuto n gu r both onit

theyre cutebut I think im actully dyng

4itjoookf

 

**hongseok**

DID YOU JUST DROP YOUR PHONE ON YOUR FOREHEAD

 

**wooseok**

…

maybe

 

**shinwon**

hdsjcdsnvjdufnds

 

**hongseok**

I HEAR DHT AT

 

**wooseok**

shutup

i can hearyou lauhging

 

**shinwon**

whattttt

we would never, , ,,,

 

_< jinho has entered the chat  >_

 

**jinho**

Good morning!

 

**hongseok**

this isn't a verbal conversation but that hurt my head

 

**shinwon**

lol hongseok do you remember anything from last night

 

**hongseok**

....

 

**jinho**

Who wants breakfast?

 

**shinwon**

*panics in gay*

 

_< hyunggu has entered the chat  >_

 

**hyunggu**

me!

also sorry seokkie i'll move ;;

 

**wooseok**

oh thank god i can type again

 

**shinwon**

is no one curious about what hongseok and jinho got up to last night

 

_< yanan has entered the chat  >_

 

**hongseok**

NO

 

**jinho**

Shinwon how do you even remember anything

The last thing I remember you doing is stripping on the coffee table and making fake money rain from the ceiling

 

**yanan**

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**shinwon**

at least i have an ass to shake

all legs and no booty

it must be hard yanan

 

**hongseok**

FATALITY

 

**wooseok**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**yanan**

fuck you

 

**wooseok**

wow he must be hungover if that’s the best comeback he's got

 

**yanan**

you do realise I'm literally right behind you

I could slap you so hard your ancestors would feel it

 

**hyunggu**

then why haven't you?

 

**yanan**

…because changgu is asleep on my chest and I don’t wanna wake her

 

**shinwon**

*whip sounds*

 

**hyunggu**

awwwwwwwwwww

 

**hongseok**

lmao yanan is so soft

 

**yanan**

stfu

 

_< hui has entered the chat  >_

_< hyojong has entered the chat  >_

 

**hui**

Ugh my head

 

**hyojong**

mrning baby <3

 

**wooseok**

ew who invited the old couple

 

**hongseok**

WAIT THIS REMINDS ME DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT HYOJONG DID LAST NIGHT

 

**hyojong**

no

 

**changgu**

yes

(๑-﹏-๑)

 

**wooseok**

who knew hyojong was a nudist as a girl too

 

**hyojong**

lol y wudnt i b

 

**yanan**

all i remember was going with hyojong, wooseok and hongseok to get more booze

and some old guy tried to grab hyojong's tits

so he punched him across the jaw

we had to drag hyojong home

 

**hui**

As much as i hate violence

That's my baby <3

 

**hyojong**

ly

 

**hyunggu**

i'm impressed hui managed to get hyojong to put clothes on before they left xD

 

**yanan**

i just did a full body shiver at that emoticon

 

**wooseok**

i think what's more impressive is that he came back fully clothed

 

**shinwon**

okay but what about hongho does nobody else remember this???

 

**hongseok**

jinho you said something about breakfast?

 

**jinho**

I'm leaving in 5 minutes

 

_< hongseok has left the chat  >_

_< jinho has left the chat  >_

 

**shinwon**

!!!!!!!!

you cant avoid the gay forever!!!!!!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im supposed to be doing uni work rn lol
> 
>  
> 
> **important question!!!**
> 
>  
> 
> i have a bunch of chats that don't really fit in with the story but i love them too much to discard them so pls tell me should i post them as they are as small filler chapters or should i create a separate fic for them? either leave a comment here or on my cc! much appreciated!!


	6. where are my girls?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shinwon**  
>  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miss hyuna to the rescue!! 
> 
> this chapter discusses all the "perks" of having a uterus so if that's not something you wanna read about i'll see you in the next chapter lol
> 
> also! i created a new fic for extra chats and posted the first one so go [ read it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15721230) after this chapter! 
> 
> title from queen hyuna's [ do it!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hIQgbtuXRM)

_Thursday - 10:40am_

 

 

 

_< jinho has entered the chat  >_

 

**jinho**

Why did I just get a text from Yuto that says "help"?

 

**shinwon**

he fell in a well

 

**wooseok**

shinwon was talking shit as usual so yuto woke up and blinded him and he tripped over the couch and landed with a face full of hongseok tiddy

so hongseok pushed him off and directed a fire bolt at him but he ducked and it got me and set my hair on fire

then hui walked in and put it out but accidentally got hyunggu and yuto wet in the process

so hyunggu took the three of us into the bedroom to warm us all up

 

**shinwon**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**wooseok**

we were cuddling you pervert

anyway we didn’t come out for a long time so hui hyung came to check on us and

accidentally walked in on hyunggu topless and fainted

 

**jinho**

I can't even leave for five minutes to get you shitheads breakfast

Is Hui okay?

 

**hyunggu**

yeah he's awake now he can't look me in the eye though :c

 

**shinwon**

but why was hyunggu topless

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**hyunggu**

I was trying to get changed!!!

our clothes were wet ;;

 

**shinwon**

uh huh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**wooseok**

use that emoji one more time I fucking dare you

 

**shinwon**

,,, , ,

 

**yanan**

damn ive never seen wooseok so protective

 

**wooseok**

hyunggu's a girl now i have to protect them

i mean

girl body

 

**yanan**

woah woah woah

just because they're a girl suddenly they need protection????

sexist

 

**wooseok**

that’s not what I meant shithead

 

**hyunggu**

I take offense

just because my body is different now doesn’t mean im any less of the person I was yesterday

I can still take care of myself 

 

**shinwon**

holy shit

 

**hyunggu**

and i'm disappointed that you think that about any girl!

they're strong and independent and you should never underestimate them! >:(

 

**hongseok**

HYUNGGU THE FEMINIST HCDSHFSJDHDH IM LIVING

 

**hui**

Ooooh wooseokkie's in troubleeeeee

 

**changgu**

I agree with hyunggu!

just bc we have boobs doesn’t mean we're suddenly vulnerable!

I am still fully capable of murder (*ﾟ∀ﾟ)つ＝lニニフ

 

**shinwon**

that wasn’t explicitly aimed at me but i feel threatened

 

**changgu**

good :3

 

**shinwon**

:o

 

**wooseok**

i'm sorry hyunggu i didn't mean it like that!!

 

**yanan**

uh oh

hyunggu just walked out

yuto too

rip wooseok

 

**yuto**

shut your fuck up yanan

 

**hongseok**

SHU T YOUR FUCKU P

 

**jinho**

Can you guys please go 5 minutes without fighting

 

**shinwon**

no lol

 

**hongseok**

JINHOOOOOOO

I'M HUNGRYYYYYYYYYY

 

**jinho**

It would have been faster if someone had come with me you know

 

**hyunggu**

sorry jinho :(

 

**jinho**

... Okay you're forgiven

I'll be back in 5

 

**hongseok**

YASSSSSSS

I LOVE YOU

fuck

I mean

um

 

**shinwon**

I can smell the gay panic from across the room

oh my god hongseok looks like he's gonna faint

 

**hongseok**

SHUTUP

 

_< hongseok has left the chat  >_

 

**hyunggu**

wait but since hongseok is a girl now wouldn't it just be panic?

it's technically not gay :P

 

**shinwon**

#nohomo

 

**wooseok**

oh my god

you're right??

oh no

does that mean I'm straight??????

 

**hyojong**

cnt reltae

 

_< jinho has left the chat  >_

 

**yanan**

wooseok you fucking idiot you're dating yuto too

 

**wooseok**

oh

right

 

**yuto**

babe I'm pansexual

 

**shinwon**

lol hongseok and jinho both left,,,

 

**hui**

You know trans men exist????

I did NOT raise my kids to be this ignorant

 

**hyojong**

u tell em babe

 

**shinwon**

yes yes we know genitals dont equal gender

jeez grandpa it's a joke

 

**hyunggu**

sorry hui :c

 

**yanan**

WAIT WAIT WAIT where's changgu

I went to the kitchen for five seconds and she's gone

 

**hyojong**

she wnt 2 th bthroom

thnk shes sck she lookd pale

 

_< hongseok has entered the chat  >_

 

**hongseok**

JEIS CHRI ST

WAS THAT CHANGGU

 

_< jinho has entered the chat  >_

 

**jinho**

What's happening?

 

**hongseok**

CHANGGU IS SCREAMING SOMETHING ABOUT BLOOD

YANAN JUST RAN INTO THE BATHROOM

BRAVER THAN THE US MARINES

 

**yanan**

JINHO

WE NEED TAMPONS

AND PAINKILLERS

AND A LOT OF CHOCOLATE

 

**jinho**

What??

What the fuck I don't know how to buy tampons

 

**yanan**

GO TO THE FUCKING STORE AND BUY A PACKET

ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

 

**jinho**

I can't buy tampons!

 

**hui**

I'm calling hyuna

 

**wooseok**

OHMY GOD

 

**yanan**

CHANGGU JUST SAID

AND I QUOTE

"TELL JINHO IF HE DOESN’T GET ME A FUCKING TAMPON

I'LL BREAK OFF HIS FINGERS AND USE THEM INSTEAD"

 

**jinho**

Jesus fucking Christ

Okay I'm going

 

**hui**

Hyuna's on her way!

 

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

 

"HYUNGGU-YAAAAAA YOU'RE SO CUTE!" Hyuna squeals as soon as she gets to the apartment. Yuto has never been more thankful for her appearance, though he would appreciate if she would stop cooing over his partner so loudly.

 

"I was always cute." Hyunggu pouts but accepts the excited hug Hyuna gives them.

 

"Yeah but she's a lesbian, now you're actually her type." Shinwon deadpans, smiling innocently at the glare both Wooseok and Yuto throw him. Yuto contemplates blinding him again but thinks better of it when he catches Hui's disapproving look. It'll have to wait for later.

 

"Hyuna is that you?!" Yanan runs around the corner at the sound of squealing, looking traumatised and Yuto doesn't want to imagine what he's seen. "Changgu needs your help, like, really bad." He looks like he's ready to drop to his knees and beg but Hyuna hurries into the bathroom, not bothering to knock and quickly slams it behind her before Yanan can follow her in. By the look on his face, Yuto doesn't think he would have followed.

 

"Yanan do you need to sit down?" Hui asks, every bit the concerned leader and Yanan nods numbly before dropping to the floor and curling into the fetal position.

 

Ten minutes later, Changgu and Hyuna finally leave the bathroom, Hyuna looking every bit unbothered and Changgu quickly running to Yanan still curled up on the ground to apologise for what he had to witness. Yuto glances worriedly at Wooseok, the two of them obviously thinking the same thing. Hyunggu looks oblivious from where he's standing in front of Wooseok, the younger's hands around his middle (if you didn't know him you'd think he looked relaxed but Yuto can see the way he's careful to avoid touching any new parts on Hyunggu's body).

 

"Ah! I brought gifts for the girls." Hyuna suddenly claps excitedly and ushers everyone into sitting down.

 

"So I wasn't sure if any of you were willing to dress the part or if you'd just like to dress as you usually did so I brought options." As she talks she starts to empty the contents of one of the many bags she's brought, most of the things foreign to Yuto, and by the looks of it, most of the room.

 

"These are binds for if you wanna hide your boobs, or there's some of my old lingerie if you wanna show them off," She winks at Hyunggu. Yuto swallows so loudly he's pretty sure the whole room heard. Shinwon snickers in the corner.

 

"There's make up too, either for caking your face or I can do really convincing fake stubble." Yuto picks something that looks like a medieval torture device off the table and Hyuna snatches it out of his hand without even looking in his direction.

 

"I also brought a lot of my old clothes and of course menstrual products."

 

Wooseok starts screaming, covering his ears and walking briskly to the kitchen, Yuto frantically running after him while the rest of the room panics like someone threw a grenade. He thinks he can faintly hear Hyuna's cackling laughter over the chaos.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the abrupt ending i just wanted to post this chapter bc i hate it and need it out of my life already 
> 
> pls leave comments i crave validation uwu


	7. 혼자야 (alone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shinwon!" Hongseok yells, suddenly in front of him and Shinwon startles so much he accidentally sends the magazines flying into the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol im in so much pain rn but woo i have two weeks off uni so updates should be hella frequent!! 
> 
> chapter title from day6's [all alone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd-elEnkInw)

_Friday 29th June - Thailand, 3:43pm_

 

Shinwon leaves for Thailand on Friday with Hongseok and Jinho in tow. He manages to convince the rest of the group that he can't be trusted on his own and so Hongseok is forced to go, who in turn guilt trips Jinho into joining. They have a week in Thailand to find the street vendor and a cure, but Shinwon is so confident that they'll find it without problem that he plans to find it on the first day then spend the rest of the week relaxing. What the rest of the group don't know won't hurt them. Plus he's sure this whole sex change thing will be a learning experience. They'll thank him later.

That plan quickly turns to shit.

Firstly it takes them a full day to find the weird marketplace Hui had ended up, hidden in some remote section of the busy city only accessible through the smallest alleyway known to man. And when they do finally find the street vendor, well.

 _"What the fuck do you mean it's not there??"_ Hui's crackly voice is barely audible over their loud surroundings but Jinho flinches regardless. Shinwon sighs directly into the receiver.

"Do you speak Korean? You know what I said." He snaps back, mostly angry at the fact that his week long relaxation plans are ruined. Hongseok paces beside him, Jinho watching Hongseok anxiously and fiddling with his shirt sleeves.

 _"Are you sure you're at the right place?"_ Hui responds and Hongseok is the one to snap this time.

"Yes it's the right place we're not idiots." Jinho snatches the phone off Shinwon before they can piss their leader off any further.

"Hui it's really not here. There's no sign of the facemasks." Jinho explains tiredly.

Shinwon huffs and leans against a wall, finding a stack of magazines to play with. He twirls them around till theyre a blur of colour, losing focus and feeling his soul leave his body. He's irritable, and he has every right to be. They just wasted an entire day trying to find this specific marketplace with vague instructions on how to get there, only to arrive and not find what they were looking for.

"Shinwon!" Hongseok yells, suddenly in front of him and Shinwon startles so much he accidentally sends the magazines flying into the air. One hits him in the face and Jinho starts cackling like the devil spawn he really is.

"We're heading back to the hotel, we'll figure out our next move while we're there." Hongseok explains, setting a stray magazine on fire just before it can land on him. Shinwon nods and follows numbly, looking down at the magazine in his hand and deciding he might as well entertain himself on the walk home.

They're a block away from the hotel when Shinwon flips to an advertising page and yells. Jinho screams and clutches onto Hongseok but Shinwon is too busy making sure what he's found is legit that he completely forgets to tease him about it.

"It's the face masks!" He points at the page excitedly and Hongseok has to snatch the magazine off him to read it properly but when he does his eyebrows disappear into his hairline. Jinho already has his phone out calling Hui and Shinwon gets his own out to call the contact number. Thankfully the facemasks aren't from a huge cosmetics company: there's only one place that makes them and it's just outside the city where they're staying. Shinwon has never been more thankful for his short attention span than he is right now.

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

**hyunggu**

so you found the cure? :D

**hongseok**

not yet we just found the face masks

**hyunggu**

:c

**wooseok**

you fucking idiot look what you've done now they're sad

**yuto**

it's okay hyunggi we'll find the cure

**hongseok**

?????

i was just stating facts why am i being attacked

_ < hyojong has entered the chat > _

**hyojong**

hey 2gu

**hyunggu**

yeah?

**changgu**

yeah?

**hongseok**

2gu??????

**hyojong**

u gys wnna go shpping tmr

thres a new nail salon huis gnna take me 2

**hyunggu**

!!!!!!

:D

**changgu**

o((*^▽^*))o

**hyojong**

gr8

brng ur bfs itll b a trple d8

_ < hyojong has left the chat > _

**shinwon**

this is rude

i feel offended

**wooseok**

why you're already on a date

**shinwon**

im third wheeling that doesnt count

**hongseok**

WE'RE NOT ON A DATE

**wooseok**

uh huh

where are you rn

**jinho**

We're at a cafe

Me and Hongseok are sharing a milkshake

Why?

**hongseok**

jinho for the love of god please shut up

**jinho**

Oh

Sorry

**shinwon**

*cronches popcorn*

**wooseok**

who tf says cronch

**shinwon**

me bitch

**yuto**

hyunggi are you ready to go we're heading out soon

**hyunggu**

i'll be right out!!

bras are really hard to put on ><

**yuto**

um

do

do you need help?

**shinwon**

*CRONCHES LOUDER*

_ < yuto has left the chat > _

_ < hyunggu has left the chat > _

**shinwon**

aw

_ < wooseok has changed shinwon's name to shitlord mcgee > _

**yanan**

HAHAHAHASDHSHKSJA

**hongseok**

QUICK SOMEONE REMOVE SHINWON AS AN ADMIN

_ < wooseok has become sole admin > _

**shitlord mcgee**

my own kids,,

turning against me,,, ,

**hongseok**

It's What She Deserves.

**shitlord mcgee**

hongseok, ,,

my best frined ,,,, ,

not you too , ,

_ < hui has entered the chat > _

**hui**

What is happening

**shitlord mcgee**

hui! you still love me right???

_ < hui has left the chat > _

**shitlord mcgee**

*sad recorder sounds*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so from this point the story is probably gonna be heavily focused on the thailand trio bc i dont want to drag this story out for too long but if anyone has any suggestions for things you want me to write about for the girls back in korea feel free to leave them in the comments or on my cc! even if i just turn them into extra chats i'd love to hear ideas from other people ^^ it IS a genderbent fic but im barely writing about the "girls" lol sorry


	8. like a fool (바보 같죠)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jinho? What's up?"
> 
> "I'm a walnut head!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok it might be confusing so im gonna explain it here but there's a phone call and an irl conversation at the end of this chapter and i tried something with the dialogue bc i didnt wanna write all the reactions and yeah sorry if its confusing!!
> 
> (also i hate the flow of this chapter it's so jumpy but idk how to fix it so lol sorry)
> 
> title from lovely'z [미묘미묘해](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTS7fvCwra8)
> 
> edit: oh my god 900 hits wtf people actually read this?? thats wild

 

_Friday - 9:28pm_

 

Hongseok flops onto one of the beds in the hotel room, exhausted from their long day of searching and he doesn't try to stop his eyelids from falling closed. He hears the sounds of Jinho in the bathroom and Shinwon rummaging around in their luggage. He's almost asleep when something heavy and bony lands on top of him. He knows it's Shinwon without looking; as best friends they've cuddled more times than Hongseok has with anyone else.

"Hmmm you're squishier than usual. I like this body, please keep it." Hongseok swats him on the head and Shinwon hisses a curse word under his breath, glaring daggers before letting his head drop back onto Hongseok's stomach.

"You okay?" He mumbles, rubbing a lazy hand over Shinwon's shoulder as his best friend tries to get comfortable. He's been quiet since the group chat earlier; he's usually fine with all the teasing from their friends, like water off a duck's back, but everyone has their off days.

"Yeah 'mjstired." He slurs and Hongseok guesses that's all he's gonna get because not even seconds later Shinwon is softly snoring on top of him. He sighs and surrenders to being a human pillow for the next few hours.

Jinho walks out of the bathroom then. Hongseok lifts his head to look, spots a topless Jinho and snaps his head back down so fast he gets whiplash. He squeezes his eyes shut for a few seconds before reopening them to see Jinho lounging on the bed opposite, glancing warily at Shinwon drooling onto Hongseok's shirt.

"Is that comfortable?" Jinho chuckles but it sounds awkward and Hongseok isn't really sure why.

"I've gotten used to it." He sighs, though there's no real emotion behind it. Jinho nods and, much to Hongseok's disappointment, grabs a shirt off the bed to pull over his head. Hongseok has never felt more betrayed. "Plus he's really ugly when he sleeps so it makes for easily accessible blackmail material."

Jinho giggles and Hongseok feels his lips curve up involuntarily. It's painfully silent for several seconds and Hongseok can't stop his thoughts from wandering back to a few nights ago at Hui's apartment.

_He'd followed Jinho into the kitchen to grab another drink (definitely not tripping over someone's foot on the way). Neither of them needed any more but Hui was busy trying to wrestle Hyojong into a shirt and Changgu was.. actually he can't remember where Changgu was but his guess is preoccupied with a certain boyfriend. Anyway. Jinho and Hongseok. Standing in the kitchen. Hongseok swaying on his feet with a dopey smile watching Jinho attempt to climb onto the counter. He has no idea why the older was trying to get up there but what kind of friend (ouch) would he be if he didn't help him?_

_Setting his drink on the table behind him, he grabbed Jinho by the hips, startling the older but ignoring his squawks of protest and putting all his concentration into not dropping him as he lifted him onto the counter. He stood back when he'd finished, Jinho huffing and grumbling under his breath. He looked so tiny and cute, feet barely reaching half way to the floor, arms crossed and a sleepy pout on his face and Hongseok really couldn't stop himself from leaning forward and planting a sloppy kiss on his forehead._

_When he stood back again Jinho looked even more indignant and all he remembers is hearing him yell something like "If you're gonna kiss me, do it properly, asshole." Then Jinho grabbed his face and kissed him - well, he's not really sure if you could consider what he did "kissing" but there were lips on lips at some point so that's good enough for him. (He really hopes Jinho is a better kisser when he's sober because yikes)._

_Then he'd pulled back and Hongseok's drunk brain had spilled something embarrassing and very very gay but thankfully at the exact moment he said it Jinho fell forward and passed out. Not-so-thankfully, Hongseok was very drunk and had zero balance so they both ended up on the floor of the kitchen, Jinho making a cute "ngah!" sound that interrupted his soft snoring for about two seconds before he curled up and continued sleeping._

_He can't remember anything after that and he isn't sure how Shinwon knows what happened but he can only assume he was the person to drag them out of the kitchen since he woke the next morning in the living room, Jinho curled up next to him and his best friend sending him winks from across the room._

Anyway. Back to the present, Jinho is staring at him.

"What?" He blurts out, flustered under the sudden attention and realisation that he'd zoned out for an undetermined amount of time.

"N-nothing!" Jinho squeaks out, turning away and climbing into bed to avoid eye contact. A voice that sounds suspiciously like Shinwon is telling Hongseok that now is his chance to talk to Jinho about that night and "put all this gay angst behind them". He mentally curses at the not-Shinwon voice in his head in every language he knows but clears his throat nonetheless.

"Hey Jinho um.. about the other night.. a-at Hui's-" He starts.

"Wait! Wait can we just..." Jinho cuts himself off, looking very frightened all of a sudden and all Hongseok can do is wait, feeling cold apprehension settle in his stomach.

"Can this wait? Until you get your old body back I mean. N-now isn't really... the best time." He finishes lamely. And _wow okay that's not what he expected._

Get his old body back? What does that mean?

"What's wrong with this one?" He asks, making no attempt to hide the hurt in his voice. Of course he's upset - everyone and their mother can see that he's not the least bit comfortable with this body and he really thought Jinho would understand that. "Does it make _you_ uncomfortable?"

"N-no! That's not what I meant I- I just- I mean-"

"It's okay just- just save it. Let's not talk about it. It's fine w-we can forget anything happened." He stands then, completely forgetting about his best friend napping on his stomach and accidentally throwing him to the floor. He can't even care to apologise at this point, too focused on the fresh rejection sting and the need to get out of the room as fast as possible.

"Hongseok wait!" Jinho's voice echoes in the room. "Shit." He curses himself, then startles when Shinwon suddenly stands from where he was sprawled on the floor. He looms over him and starts slow clapping.

"Smooth move walnut head." Is all he says before swiftly exiting, presumably chasing after Hongseok like Jinho should be doing.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

 

**_Incoming call - Pocket Boy..._ **

 

"Jinho? What's up?"

 

"I'm a walnut head!"

 

"What? What happened?"

 

"I kissed Hongseok the other night at your place and it was nice and I

kinda liked it a lot more than I thought I would and I'm not even

sure why I kissed him but he just tried to talk to me about it and I

freaked out and somehow made it worse and he stormed out and

I'm a walnut head."

 

"..."

 

"Hui? Are you there?"

 

"Excuse my French but what the FUCK Jinho?"

 

"I don't know!!!"

 

"Okay okay let's just- fuck let's just talk about this."

 

"Okay."

 

"Do you have feelings for Hongseok?"

 

"I- I don't know."

 

"You don't know?"

 

"No I don't know I just! I kissed him!"

 

"Is it because of the whole... body thing?"

 

"I don't think so?"

 

"You don't think so?"

 

"No."

 

"When you kissed him were you thinking about

kissing a girl or were you thinking about kissing Hongseok?"

 

"What does that even mean?"

 

"Just answer the question."

 

"I... I was thinking about Hongseok."

 

"Well then, there's your answer."

 

"B-but I'm not gay!"

 

"You just kissed Hongseok, that's pretty gay."

 

"Okay but what if my drunk brain was just confused? His boobs

were like... right there when I kissed him."

 

"Jinho are you listening to yourself?"

 

"Yes but that's not the point! I'm too old to be having a sexuality

crisis!"

 

"First of all you're not even 30. Second, you're never too old

for a sexuality crisis. And third do you still wanna kiss him?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I mean if he showed up right now, in his normal body,

would you smooch him?"

 

"I..."

 

"Jinho?"

 

"I'm sorry I just-"

 

"It's okay child just breathe this isn't a big deal okay?

Go get some sleep and let Hongseok cool down. We can talk about this

more tomorrow."

 

"Okay. Thanks Hui."

 

"No problem Jinho. Goodnight."

 

"Goodnight."

 

**_Call Ended_ **

****

Hui sighs and flops back onto the bed.

 

"Fucking finally." Hyojong grumbles from beside him. He lightly smacks him on the arm before settling back under the covers and drifting off.

 

_Fucking finally indeed._

 

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

 

"Hongseok!"

 

"Not now Shinwon j-"

 

"Oh my god stop running you asshole!

I'll chase you back to fucking South Korea if I have to!"

 

"Okay! Okay fine."

 

"...So?"

 

"What?"

 

"Are we gonna skip the part where we pretend I don't know what

just happened or?"

 

"Please."

 

"Alright good. Let's talk."

 

"Ugh I just- I don't know what to say. I'm fucked."

 

"Not yet- Ow!"

 

"This isn't funny!"

 

"Alright alright sorry."

 

"What am I supposed to do now? He obviously remembers what

happened and regrets it. God what have I done?"

 

"God you gays are so dramatic."

 

"You're gay!!"

 

"Hongseok! Don't out me like that! I thought we were friends!"

 

"SHINWON!"

 

"Shutting up."

 

"Seriously! What do I do? Everything's ruined."

 

"Oh my god child this isn't the end of the world.

What if he's just having a sexuality crisis?"

 

"He's not."

 

"How can you be so sure?"

 

"I... I just know."

 

"God you're impossible."

 

"Thanks."

 

"Listen Hongseok, the boy likes you whether he knows it

or not. Just- god I don't know just give him time to figure it out.

You remember what you were like when you had your sexuality

crisis right?"

 

"Shinwon you SWORE we would never speak of that again."

 

"Speak of what? I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

"...Good."

 

"....Wait but-"

 

"What?"

 

"Just- do you regret it?"

 

"What? Using you to-"

 

"NO! No I mean- kissing him."

 

"...I guess not."

 

"Okay then, even if this turns to shit at least you can say you kissed

the boy."

 

"Thanks? I guess?"

 

"You're welcome. Now come on, you can sleep in my bed if you want."

 

"There are only two beds."

 

"Just say yes and shut up or sleep on the floor."

 

"I hate you."

 

"Close enough."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im still trying to figure out what order to post the chapters bc the next one i was gonna post has them finding the cure but im thinking of writing some more chapters for the squad back in korea first soooo updates might be a little slow while i sort that out
> 
> also! i made some moodboards for the characters on my [tumblr please go check them out (and follow me while you're there)](http://ultswoon.tumblr.com/post/177438316746)


	9. 매일 밤 불안하니까 (every night i'm anxious)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shinwon**  
>  this sounds like the plot of a nancy drew book  
> Nancy Drew and the Stolen Corkboard Condom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! possible t/w for this chapter: mentions of vomiting/dry heaving (just skip to the chat if you're triggered by this)
> 
> sorry this chapter isnt the best it's just a filler chapter i swear the next one will be better. also sorry updates are snail pace rn. i spent the first week of my uni break just watching youtube videos and doing nothing productive so im in a slump (and spent most of today hibernating lol). i cant say how many more chapters of this fic there will be, as of now i only have two more written so unless i think of anything else to write i'll probably wrap it up within three-four chapters. it definitely wont be the end of this universe tho bc i really really love fantasy aus so im planning to write more serious fics after this one is finished! 
> 
> also! thank you for 1000 hits on my first fic i have no words i really cant believe people actually read this and enjoy it??
> 
> lastly, the title doesnt really fit the chapter but i had to promote my underrated bbs somehow so it's from imfact's [나나나](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_Ynwy8k_Ns) aka song of the year 2018

Yuto wakes with his cheek squished against Wooseok's bare chest, head moving with every inhale and exhale of the boy below him. Tired eyes blink open, a hand coming to wipe away crusts of sleep from the corner of his eyes. The clock beside him reads 5:39, which is hours too early for Yuto to be awake so he rolls over, planning to cuddle Hyunggu behind him except Hyunggu's side of the bed is empty, yet again. Before he has a second to figure out where Hyunggu might be at this time of the morning there's a loud cough from the bathroom followed by a dry heave.

 

Yuto sits up too fast and gets dizzy, having to lean over and hold his head for a few seconds till the room stops spinning. Then he's on his feet, stumbling his way to the bathroom in the dark and stubbing his toe on the door frame on his way out of the bedroom.

"Hyunggu? Are you okay? Can I come in?" He has to clear his throat a few times before his words are comprehensible, and it's while he's anxiously waiting for an answer that he does a full body shiver and realises he's naked. Not that it's a problem, considering the only people he lives with are people he's also sleeping with but he was too sleepy for a shower after last night's activities and he's pretty sure he's a walking health violation at that moment.

Speaking of health violations, his thoughts are cut off by a loud gagging sound and he tries the door handle, finding it unlocked and entering the bathroom without hesitation. Hyunggu is clutching the toilet bowl like it's the only thing holding them up, arms shaking and face pale. Yuto kneels behind them, gathering the loose strands of hair off their forehead just as they lean over to heave into the bowl again. Yuto makes a sound of pity and starts rubbing Hyunggu on the back, suddenly reminded of the times his mother would do it for him when he was sick.

They stay like that for the better part of half an hour, then Yuto is leading them both back to the bedroom, stopping in the laundry to grab a bucket and spare blankets just in case. When he enters the bedroom again Hyunggu is in the spot Yuto vacated earlier, curled against Wooseok's chest already asleep. He quietly places the bucket next to Hyunggu's side of the bed, within easy reach should they need it. He heads back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and medicine for Hyunggu and places them on the bedside table before finally settling back into bed, this time on the other side of Wooseok, falling asleep almost immediately.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

_< hui has entered the chat  >_

 

**hui**

Who took the condom that was pinned to my corkboard in my room

I know it was one of you fess up

 

_< shinwon has entered the chat  >_

 

**shinwon**

ew why would anyone want ur old man condoms

 

**hui**

IM NOT OLD

 

_< yuto has entered the chat  >_

_< hongseok has entered the chat  >_

_< yanan has entered the chat  >_

 

**yanan**

ew why would anyone take a condom off a corkboard

 

**hongseok**

thats so unhygenic

 

**hui**

Well i highly doubt someone broke into my apartment just to steal a corkboard condom

 

**shinwon**

this sounds like the plot of a nancy drew book

Nancy Drew and the Stolen Corkboard Condom

 

**hongseok**

BHNDSJFHNJJNANJDMVD

 

**yanan**

SH UT UP IM PEEING

 

**shinwon**

gross

 

**yuto**

hui can i call you hyunggu has been sick all morning and i need advice

 

**hui**

Sure yuto one sec

 

**hongseok**

wait

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**Private chat - shinwon, hongseok**

 

**wonwon**

ten bucks it was wooseok

**honghong**

youre on

 

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**pentagirls**

 

_< wooseok has entered the chat  >_

 

**wooseok**

whatd i miss

 

**hongseok**

wait for it

 

**wooseok**

oh i think i took it

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**Private chat - shinwon, hongseok**

 

**honghong**

BHDSJFJKDSVDSJKVKSDIJF

 

**wonwon**

DHSNVHIHKNSHKNVJSIDIJNDSV

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**pentagirls**

 

**hui**

....You what

 

**wooseok**

yeah i dont really remember bc it was at the party so i was drunk

but i found it in my jeans the other night

_< IMG_372285  >_

that one right?

 

**hui**

OH MY GOD DID YOU USE IT????

 

**yuto**

WOOSEOK

 

**shinwon**

OH MY GOD

 

**hongseok**

O H M Y G O D

 

**yanan**

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

 

**wooseok**

what?

WHAT?

 

**hui**

That was for a really important art piece!!

 

**shinwon**

ARPTIECE?????//?//

YOURE WORRIE D ABOUT YOUR ART PIECE?/???

HE SUDIE IT 

US E D IT 

 

**wooseok**

yeah so???

 

**yanan**

WE'RE INFESTED WITH IDIOTS

 

**hui**

....wait

 

**hongseok**

in 3

 

**shinwon**

2

 

**yanan**

1

 

**hui**

OH MY GOD

HYUNGGU'S PREGNANT

 

_< hyunggu has entered the chat  >_

 

**hyunggu**

....im sorry

what?

 

**wooseok**

WHAT

 

**yuto**

oh god

 

**hongseok**

IMCRYING

 

**hyunggu**

i

 

**hui**

Wooseok what the fuck is wrong with you??

Do you have ANY understanding of how condoms work??????

HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING????????

 

**yanan**

he's hit his head one too many times

 

**shinwon**

oh god imagine the offspring

 

**hyunggu**

wait guys shut up im not pregnant

 

**wooseok**

hyungguim so sorry

i dint rlaise imsor soryr

 

**yanan**

oh god yuto is he okay

 

**yuto**

hes crying

 

**shinwon**

huis gonna be a grandfather!

so late into his life too thats admirable :)

 

_< jinho has entered the chat  >_

 

**hyunggu**

GUYS IM NOT FUCKING PREGNANT

 

**shinwon**

holy shit

 

**hongseok**

hyunggu...

swore

 

**jinho**

Um

What did I miss?

 

**hyunggu**

i ate some bad chicken last night okay it's just food poisoning

wooseokie please stop crying i can hear you from the bathroom

 

**wooseok**

but

but the condom?

 

**hyunggu**

you mean the one you used on yuto?

 

**wooseok**

i didnt use it on

oh wait

oh

 

**jinho**

Guys TMI

 

**yanan**

I AGREE WITH JINHO CAN YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT THIS IN PERSON

 

_< hyunggu has left the chat  >_

_< yuto has left the chat  >_

_< wooseok has left the chat  >_

**shinwon**

spoil sport

it was just getting good

 

**hongseok**

pervert

 

**yanan**

theyre CHILDREN

 

**shinwon**

theyre legal

hui how you holding up

 

**hongseok**

hui?

 

**hui**

the is hyojong

hi I faints

 

**hongseok**

uhhhhhhh?

 

**shinwon**

let me translate

'this is hyojong

hui fainted'

 

**yanan**

huh so thats what hyojong looks like with autocorrect

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hongseok is the only person allowed to call shinwon "wonwon" it's canon now you're welcome


	10. a kind of magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **worm**  
>  me being single is a personal decision
> 
>  **Oh Seunghee**  
>  Such a noble sacrifice  
> On behalf of the entire human population  
> Thank you for not reproducing
> 
>  **worm**  
>  we're in the same gene pool
> 
>  **Oh Seunghee**  
>  Thats irrelevant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the super late update everything's been chaotic and with all the drama i just didnt wanna touch this for a while until things settled down
> 
> that being said, this is kind of my favourite chapter so far and ive been excited to post it since I wrote it like two months ago so pls enjoy ^-^
> 
> clc girlies make an appearance!
> 
> title from my favourite queen song [ a kind of magic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p_1QSUsbsM)

_Saturday - 10:04am_

Saturday morning finds Shinwon squashed in a taxi between Hongseok and Jinho, clutching the leather seats below him so hard he's making nail marks and cursing out the eccentric taxi driver under his breath as they weave through traffic and nearly collide with every single thing they pass. They're heading towards the far south edge of the city, supposedly a half hour drive away from their hotel but by the look of the map on Hongseok's phone they've already hit the halfway mark in 5 minutes. He would be impressed if he hadn't almost gone through the windscreen six times since they left.

What makes matters worse is Hongseok and Jinho aren't talking to each other. You'd think that'd be great, he could finally get some peace and quiet but no. They've somehow managed to keep him involved in every way imaginable - hence the initiation of the Pretend Everything Is Fine And Be Best Friends With Shinwon Until He Fucking Strangles Them Challenge 2018. Every chance they get they're clinging onto him, laughing too hard at his jokes, complimenting him. They're even buying him things - the last time he asked Hongseok to buy him food he was threatened with a steak knife.

This weird competition between the two is the most fucked up way to deal with repressed feelings that he's ever heard of, but trust his weird ass best friend and his apparently just as weird crush to pull something like this off. And as nice as it sounds to be coddled and smothered in affection, he's never been an affectionate person and the fact that he's somehow become this weird middle man receiving all the attention he knows the two boys just want to give each other but are too afraid and dramatic to actually do so, just makes everything all the more frustrating and exhausting.

"How much further?" Jinho asks then, voice strained in fear as the car swerves so hard around a corner he gets a mouthful of Shinwon's hair as he practically falls into Jinho's lap. Shinwon glances over at Hongseok's phone, noting the incredible distance they made while he was brooding.

"Not far." He manages, throat constricting as they fly over a speed bump. Jinho lets out a whimper and clutches Shinwon's hand, ignoring the glare he's sent by both boys in the backseat with him.

The taxi stops abruptly and Shinwon and Hongseok yelp as they both hit their heads on the roof of the car. The driver turns back and yells something that's probably "We're here" and sticks his hand right under Shinwon's nose, waiting for payment. Hongseok hands him the right amount, then the three of them scramble out of the car like it's on fire.

They stand on the sidewalk, watching the taxi driver do an abrupt U-turn before disappearing into traffic. Shinwon feels seasick.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm walking home." He announces after a moment of heavy breathing. The other two nod in agreement, Jinho's legs wobbling and Hongseok leaning against a brick wall panting. He stands between them, focused on sending a ward of papercut charms after the taxi driver and startles when Hongseok pinches his side, silently reprimanding.

"Uh but... are you sure we're in the right place?" Jinho questions. He's looking directly at Shinwon but he's figured out by now that the question is aimed at Hongseok, who now annoyingly has his hand in Shinwon's back pocket as he rechecks the map and acts like he isn't paying attention to Jinho.

Shinwon turns to where Jinho was looking, where the store is meant to be, only to be faced with a street full of empty and run down shops. There are old newspapers littered around, shop windows boarded up and it's such a contrast from the normal city area just around the corner that it feels like they've stepped into a different dimension all together.

"Maybe the maps haven't been updated in a while?" He suggests, very doubtful but unable to think of any other explanation. Hongseok snorts and pulls him closer.

"Let's just check it out anyway. No harm right?" Hongseok replies. As he finishes his sentence, something too big to be a rat but too small to be a cat runs across the street, screeching. Shinwon screams and pulls Jinho in front of him, ducking behind him.

"I'm going home." He turns around, pulling Hongseok's hand out of his pocket, only to be grabbed by the shoulders and spun back around.

"Don't be a baby. Come on, I'll even hold your hand." Hongseok coos patronizingly and Shinwon flings a dirty newspaper in his face. He grabs his hand anyway, ignoring the uncomfortable heat he can feel on his cheeks. Jinho grabs his other hand, looking a little sheepish and Shinwon almost laughs at the ridiculousness of the situation.

He doesn't have time to protest much before he's being dragged forward and squeezing his eyes closed, refusing to see any more of those rat/cat things. After a few steps he feels chills go up his spine and the boys beside him stop walking so abruptly he almost trips.

"Holy-"

"Woah."

"Shinwon open your eyes."

"What? Why? No." He can feel someone's hands on his face, trying to calm him down he supposes but Hongseok has years of teasing to get payback for and he would absolutely stoop as low as using Shinwon's worst fear against him. The thought of a whole hoarde of those rat/cats is enough to have him squirming in discomfort and trying to turn around.

"Shinwon it's okay we found the shop." It's Jinho this time, he can feel him squeezing his hand reassuringly. He can already feel his resolve crumbling at the soft tone of Jinho's voice and the gentle strokes of Hongseok's thumbs across his cheekbones. He really wishes he hadn't let himself be bullied into this trip, he's never going to recover from this.

It takes him a couple more minutes of protesting and attempting to bargain but eventually they calm him down enough to open his eyes, the hands falling away from his face and he catches a glance of Hongseok before he's stepping away and- oh.

They found it - it being a market for magic folk, as advertised by a small banner flying between the buildings. The street isn't run down at all - in fact he's already forgotten what it looked like just mere minutes ago. He's heard of these sorts of markets before; hidden magic markets in pockets of cities, selling items and products meant for magic folk consumption and kept away from the greedy hands of humans. They're rare, illegal in some countries, so he's never visited one before. It's as breathtaking as he imagined it would be.

It's not very busy for a Saturday (or maybe this _is_ busy) but there are a decent amount of people around, some chatting in small groups, others eating lunch on small benches floating off the ground. Something small runs by their feet and he looks down and spots the same big rat from before but this time he can see it's being ridden by a pixie, who catches his eye and winks as they pass. He looks up to see if anyone else noticed and sees the starstruck look on the other boys' faces, both still holding his hands, he realises.

"There's the shop." Jinho almost whispers, then immediately yelps as a sprite whizzes past his ear. Shinwon cackles and just like that the wonderstruck atmosphere is gone. Hongseok lets out a small chuckle. Then, as if remembering he's supposed to be ignoring Jinho, stops himself and starts dragging Shinwon (and, unintentionally, Jinho) towards the far right corner of the marketplace.

He spots it then; Cheshire Cosmetics. It's almost hidden among the stores, squeezed in between a shop titled Yukie's Fae Foods and a small hole-in-the-wall jellybean stand. It's a quaint shop, not exactly what he would associate with cosmetics with the amount of neon covering the storefront but all of the stores in the area are so different from each other that both all and none of them stick out. As they walk in they're immediately hit with the scent of apples and vanilla, the chimes above the door signalling their arrival.

A voice yells something in Thai, followed by the sounds of footsteps and the arrival of a girl, around his age, with a head of watermelon pink hair and a nose ring. She says something as she spots them, probably greeting them (he should really learn Thai with the amount of time he spends in the country) and grinning brightly.

Hongseok heads towards the counter while he and Jinho hang back, Jinho looking at a selection of what looks like hair dye with mild interest. Shinwon pinches strands of his own dark brown hair between his fingers, humming at the colour in thought. Maybe he should go blonde again.

Jinho glances over and, as if hearing his thoughts, holds out a pot of blonde dye.

"You should go blonde again." He smiles genuinely for a few seconds, before it withers at the corners slightly as he glances away for the briefest second. Shinwon doesn't have time to make anything of it before Jinho steps forward and pulls him down so he can speak directly into his ear.

"You'd make a hot blonde." He murmurs in a volume that makes the close proximity completely unnecessary. That, mixed with the weird phrasing of his words, makes Shinwon aware that the statement wasn't meant for him at all. When he pulls away from Jinho, the other isn't looking at him, gaze fixed instead on Hongseok at the counter. The other isn't looking in their direction, but even from here his neck is visibly flushed in a way that isn't just from the difficulty of holding a conversation in a foreign language.

Shinwon scowls at Jinho, who's now a little too focused on reading the label on a bottle of hair bleach - a label that, with a quick glance, is completely in Thai, which the elder can't read. His ears are red and his hands are slightly trembling, but Shinwon has no sympathy. He feels just a little bit like shit knowing hes just being used. Only a little though, since this is probably his karma for meddling so much in the first place.

Well, damn him for trying to get his best friend laid.

He exhales loudly, startling Jinho, and walks away to join Hongseok at the counter. The boy is still flushed and the girl - Sorn, her name tag reads, in both Thai and English he notes - looks like she's trying to decipher a very complicated puzzle as Hongseok continues on in broken Thai.

"Do you speak English?" He cuts in with his thick Korean accent.

"Huh? Oh yes I do!" She replies, visibly relieved. He laughs and looks at Hongseok, who looks more embarrassed than before. As he turns back towards the front door he hears another voice, female, call out from the back room. There's the tiniest hint of familiarity that he barely acknowledges before a girl emerges through the same door Sorn came through, and he has to physically stop himself from banging his head against the counter.

"Seunghee." He deadpans, face carefully blank. Said girl looks over at him and grimaces.

"Ew, what are you doing here?" She says in Korean, glancing between him, Hongseok and Jinho, who's stopped looking at hair products and is now looking at him with a curious expression. He moves closer to Hongseok almost defensively.

"You know each other?" Sorn questions, also in Korean, eyebrows raising.

"Wait you speak Korean??" Hongseok blurts out.

"Oops, sorry." Sorn says, looking not even the least bit apologetic.

"Yeah, we're-"

"Cousins." Seunghee cuts him off, directing another glare at Shinwon who obediently bites his tongue. He notices Jinho eyeing him suspiciously in his peripheral vision but chooses to ignore him.

"What are you doing here?" She repeats, impatient as always, and Hongseok answers this time.

"We need your help." He explains vaguely and Seunghee raises a finely groomed eyebrow.

"With?"

"There was an um.. mix-up. Of sorts." He explains, getting flustered with the intense stare-down he's receiving from Seunghee. Shinwon should be taking pity on his friend but with all the shit he's had to put up with today, he thinks he deserves to suffer a little longer. Still, when Hongseok moves to cross his arms across his chest, looking extremely self conscious under Seunghee's unwavering stare, he feels a little bad.

"Seunghee-ya stop, you're making him scared." Sorn chides before he can, slapping Seunghee on the arm. "What happened?" Sorn asks, smiling reassuringly at Hongseok who doesn't look any less uncomfortable until Shinwon steps closer and throws an arm around his shoulders, effectively stealing Seunghee's attention.

"Listen, one of our idiot friends bought one of your face masks from a merchant when we were in the city last week, but none of us speak Thai and-"

"Oh my god don't tell me." Seunghee interrupts, giving him a brief once-over before bursting out laughing. He looks down at himself, noticing his choice of baggy clothing and puts two and two together.

"What- No! Not me! Stop laughing!" Seunghee just cackles louder. "I'm serious! Shut up!" He almost jumps over the counter but is stopped by Jinho's hand on his arm, holding him back and stifling his own giggles behind his free hand. His brain helpfully recognises it as extremely adorable but instead of cooing he gets angry and wants to punch something. Preferably Seunghee so she'll stop laughing finally.

"Alright, alright. That's enough. Seunghee you stay here while I take them out back to discuss this." Sorn finishes her sentence by patting Seunghee on the cheek lightly, and he's horrified to see a pretty blush cover her cheeks before she ducks her head and let's Sorn move past her. _Interesting_.

Hongseok glances over at him and Jinho, looking very lost and he shrugs helplessly before following Jinho behind the counter and through into the back room, sending one last glare at Seunghee before he goes.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**Private chat - seunghee, shinwon**

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Hey bitch

What was up with that love triangle back there

 

**worm**

how did you know???

you were in the room for like three seconds

 

**Oh Seunghee**

I'm observant

And its pretty hard to miss all the gross mushy heart eyes

Ugh

 

**worm**

...youre right they are pretty obvious

but stop being nosy

you really dont wanna know

 

**Oh Seunghee**

I'm just saying

It's my moral obligation as your cousin to let you know

They're so fucking far out of your league

Quit while you're behind kid :)

 

**worm**

first of all,,,,,,

fuck you

second of all

go fuck yourself

third of all

its not like that

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Uh huh

 

**worm**

no seriously i have no interest in those two fuckheads

if i could leave them stranded in thailand i would

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Suuuuuure Jan

So your protectiveness over that tall guy

And the blush when the smaller guy held your hand

Completely platonic

Gotcha

 

**worm**

listen

its complicated but its really not like that

im just trying to get my best friend laid

speaking of flirting though

sorn huh?

 

**Oh Seunghee**

What are you talking about?

Me and Sorn are just friends

Practically sisters

 

**worm**

y i k e s

sister-zoned

thats gotta hurt huh

no wonder ur so bitter

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Fuck you.

And for the record the friend-zone is a nonexistent concept coined by 30 year old

self-proclaimed "nice guys" who are mad they can't get any.

 

**worm**

oh shit

whipping out the period

this must be serious

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Mind your own business.

 

**worm**

you literally started this conversation by asking about my business????

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Anyway stop changing the subject

Tell me what's so complicated

 

**worm**

alright fine

and listen ok this is gonna sound fucking dumb bc it IS

i dont even fully understand what's happening

but theyve been in love w each other for like 4 years and last week

they FINALLY kissed

then obviously got all weird about it like us Gays™ do

and now theyre not talking to each other

but apparently the silent treatment isnt good enough

so theyve somehow roped me into it by flirting with ME

and saying all the shit they just wanna say to each other

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Wow

Your friends have problems

 

**worm**

they ARE problems

....got any potions that could help???

im despreate

 

**Oh Seunghee**

*Desperate

And even if I did I wouldn't give it to you

 

**worm**

you know im w sorn rn

im not exactly known for being the best at keeping secrets

i could just

:)

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Dont you fucking dare

Say one word and I'll castrate you with a toothpick

 

**worm**

bullseye

just friends huh?

anyway nows not the time for flirting

my wellbeing is on the line

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Shut up I said nothing

And is that how you flirt?

No wonder you're single

 

**worm**

me being single is a personal decision

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Such a noble sacrifice

On behalf of the entire human population

Thank you for not reproducing

 

**worm**

we're in the same gene pool

also im gay and hate kids

 

**Oh Seunghee**

That's irrelevant

 

**worm**

stop changing the subject

can u help me or not?

if they touch me in a non friendly way one more time im gonna eat my own feet

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Good to see your foot fetish is well and flourishing

 

**worm**

sHUT

 

**Oh Seunghee**

I don't know what the hell you expect me to do

There isn't a cure for the Curse of the Homosexuals

 

**worm**

ur right

if there was you'd be bangin sorn by now

 

**Oh Seunghee**

You're blocked for life.

 

**worm**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Oh Seunghee**

Fuck you I'm stealing this

 

**worms**

oh no not my memes

 

**Oh Seunghee**

ANYWAY

Good luck with your dilemma

 

**worm**

wow really?

 

**Oh Seunghee**

No I hope this lasts forever and one of them ends up marrying you out of spite

Or both of them

Oh my god please keep me updated on your suffering

 

**worm**

fuck you

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference: sorn is a hair mage and seunghee is an anatomy mage


	11. i know how to make the devil cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooner or later the trash takes itself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops?
> 
> this is the second to last chapter and ive only just started writing the last chapter so uhhhh cant promise itll be done by the new year but fingers crossed ig?? ive finished uni and my work closes for two weeks over the holidays so i have no more excuses lol
> 
> title from the english version of bad boy bc thats how long this chapter has been sitting here for

_Saturday - 11:31 am_

 

"Wow, I didn't believe you when you said Hyojong's voice actually got higher." Yanan monotones; a stark contrast to the operatic screams ricocheting off the walls of the underground car-park. A man passes with a trolley, mumbling insults that are drowned out but are unmistakably rude. Hyojong and Wooseok continue on, unaffected. 

"Well," Yuto starts, pausing for a second as Wooseok lets out the sound of a bag pipe in a woodchipper. "Believe it."

"I can't tell if they're trying to communicate with each other or burst each others ear drums." Changgu responds, wincing as Hyojong somehow manages to go up an octave. Wooseok staggers in shock.

"Don't worry. In a few more octaves they'll only be audible to dogs." Hyunggu turns and grins back at them, completely unfazed. 

"Those poor dogs." Yuto mumbles. Changgu hisses sympathetically.

As they reach the elevator, Wooseok loses whatever competition they'd been having and Hyojong screams in triumph. Hyunggu pats Wooseok on the head in consolidation. Hui, who had been walking several hundred metres behind the group since they left the apartment, joins them as Changgu holds the elevator doors open and Yanan tries to regain hearing in his left ear. 

Hui clutches Hyojong's hand in a death grip to stop the younger from running off once the elevator doors open on the first floor. The small plant displays reach their leaves towards him as they pass and Hyojong runs his hands over a few every now and then. Hyunggu and Changgu cling to each other, giggle about god knows what and whisper like girls always do in cliche teenage movies. Which leaves Wooseok to walk beside Yuto, hands swinging between them, and Yanan on Yuto's far side, looking bored as ever and almost tripping over his own feet every few seconds.

They're just passing by a huge fountain display in the middle of the mall, food stalls dotted around the area to resemble some sort of food court, when they hear a high pitched wolf-whistle followed by obnoxious laughter. Yuto bristles and stops walking, causing Wooseok to nearly face-plant for the third time that week.

"Hey ladies! Nice tits!" One of them - boys, three total, sitting on and around a table near the fountain - yells. The rest of the group come to a stop, the girls' heads snapping towards the cat-callers in terrifying synchronisation. Hui tries to convince them to keep walking and avoid a confrontation but he's ignored and dragged by a fuming Hyojong; Changgu and Hyunggu following close behind.

They stop right in front of the cat-callers, so close that Wooseok can smell them - body odor and tobacco: Eau de Douchebag. They all look college age and Wooseok really wants to throw them through a fucking window but he, Yuto and Yanan come to a silent agreement to let the others handle it. So all he can do is watch as Douchebag Number One looks Hyunggu up and down, slowly, before licking his lips and, okay, Wooseok would really like to throw him through a fucking window now.

"Hey princess how's it going?" Number One drawls, punctuating his sentence with a poorly delivered wink. Wooseok gags. He glances at Hyunggu and Changgu, standing directly in front of the douchebags and looking as unbothered as ever but there's an unmistakable fire behind their eyes. Hyojong is standing slightly behind them, Hui's hand still clutching his as if he's the only thing holding Hyojong back from attacking them and Hyojong- wait, is he growling? Hyojong is growling.

"Get cucked." Changgu replies, batting her eyelashes and smiling sweetly.

"Excuse me?" Number Two pipes in, stepping forward in a vain attempt at being intimidating but no one steps back. Hyunggu giggles, the sound distorted and strange and Wooseok is suddenly very afraid. Yuto obviously feels the same as he shrinks further behind Wooseok.

"You heard her you fucking weasel." Hyunggu replies, and rolls their eyes as all three of them step forward; another attempt at looking threatening, but they're the same height as Changgu and Hyunggu (and Hyojong is not above ankle-biting) so none of them flinch in the slightest. Number Two's jaw twitches.

"You got a pretty big mouth on you baby. I could think of some better ways to use it." Number Two finally snaps, grabbing Hyunggu by the wrist. Hyunggu outright laughs and makes no attempt to take their hand back. Looking more and more irritated by the lack of reaction from the girls, Number One turns to Wooseok, Yuto and Yanan standing to the side.

"You're not even gonna protect your ladies, huh?" He says with a smirk before turning to Changgu. "Cowards. You could do so much better baby." He strokes Changgu's cheek and Yanan clenches his fists so hard there's sure to be nail marks later.

Yuto steps forward then, subtly sending a reassuring glance to Yanan. He shrugs, glances at Wooseok before turning to address the attackers, speaking in a bored tone.

"Sooner or later the trash takes itself out."

Hyojong screams.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

Fifteen minutes later the three cat-callers are sitting in the fountain, tied together with plant vines and pieces of fabric. Hyojong screams once more in triumph and tackles Hui into a bush.

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

 

  **pentagirls**

_< woodwinds has entered the chat  >_

_< yanan has entered the chat  >_

_< yuto has entered the chat  >_

 

**woodwinds**

THATW AS SO COOL

 

_< hui has entered the chat  >_

 

**yanan**

I really cant believe that happened

 

**hui**

Well believe it because I have the hickeys to prove it

 

**yuto**

gross

 

**yanan**

jealous much?

 

**yuto**

fight me

 

**yanan**

fucking make me

 

**yuto**

square up thot

 

**yanan**

exCUSE ME

 

**hui**

GUYS

Shut

The fuck up

 

**woodwinds**

no this is hot keep going

 

**yuto**

wooseok what the actual fuck

 

**yanan**

what is wrong with you???

 

**woodwinds**

what???

 

_< jinho has entered the chat  >_

_< hongseok has entered the chat  >_

_< shinwon has entered the chat  >_

 

**hui**

!!!!!

 

**shinwon**

what the fuck did we miss

 

**yanan**

oh thank god

 

**woodwinds**

did u guys find the cure?????

 

**hui**

Hows my favourite more going?

***ot3

 

**shinwon**

w h a t

 

**hongseok**

WHAT

 

**yuto**

rude

 

**hui**

I said nothing

Hows thailand?

 

**jinho**

Good!

We found the cure!!

 

**yanan**

there is a god

 

**hui**

Nice!!

 

**hongseok**

where are the others?

 

**woodwinds**

gettin their nails did

 

**yanan**

oh my god you missed so much

 

**shinwon**

oh worm?

 

**yuto**

....is that a weird korean thing?

 

**hui**

No im pretty sure that's a weird internet thing

 

**hongseok**

you spend too much fxki?g time on twitter

 

**shinwon**

that's homophobic???????

 

**hui**

You censored yourself????

 

**hongseok**

not intentionally i was typing too fast

 

**yanan**

everyone shut the fuck up so we can tell you what happened

 

**shinwon**

shutting up

 

**yanan**

ok so

 

**hongseok**

to make a long fucking story short i-

 

**hui**

HONGSEOK

 

**hongseok**

oops

continue

 

**woodwinds**

the girls got into a fight

 

**shinwon**

OH MY GOD????

 

**jinho**

Are they alright?

 

**woodwinds**

what oh yeah theyre fine

they beat the shit out of some assholes tho

it was beautiful

 

**shinwon**

with or without powers?????

 

**yanan**

with

 

**shinwon**

oh my god its HOMOPHOBIC that i wasnt there to witness that im suing

 

**hongseok**

i need details

 

**woodwinds**

well ok so some guy was grabbing hgu by the wrist

 

**shinwon**

and they burnt his hand right??

 

**yanan**

shut up and let the kid talk

 

**hui**

Simeon you are on thin fucking ice

****SHINWON

 

**shinwon**

good thing i can skate

 

**yuto**

...i give up trying to understand him

 

_<  yanan has changed shinwon's name to simeon >_

 

**woodwinds**

can i finish my story yet???

 

**yuto**

sure go ahead

 

**woodwinds**

wait first

 

_< woodwinds has changed his name to wooseok  >_

 

**wooseok**

ok anyway yes hyunggu burnt his hand but then the idiot tried to grab their /other/ wrist

like it wouldnt do the exact same thing

and he ended up on his knees yelling and clutching his hands to his chest

so gu just kicked him over and that was that

 

**hongseok**

omg nice

 

**yanan**

changgu was something else

she didnt even use her powers to begin with she just grabbed the guy by his wrist and did one of those twist flip things you see on tv a lot

 

**simeon**

wait how many guys were there

 

_< simeon has been removed from the chat  >_

_< hui has added simeon to the chat  >_

**hui**

Oh my god im so sorry that was a reflex

 

**yanan**

lol i almost did it too

 

**yuto**

me three

 

**simeon**

betrayed yet again,,,,,,

 

**yanan**

anyway

there were three of them

changgu's guy tried to get off the floor but she used her powers to sew his shirt over his face and he tripped over his own feet and fell in the fountain

 

**simeon**

WASTED

 

**hui**

Meanwhile dawnie was biting her guys ankles and slapping him with leaves from a bush nearby

 

**hongseok**

wow thats the most hyojong thing ive ever read

 

**yanan**

it was truly something

 

**wooseok**

and then we all had celebratory make out sessions

 

**simeon**

ew tmi

 

**hongseok**

even hui and hyojong?????

 

**hui**

I TOLD them we were in public

The bustards didnt listen to me tho

****bastards

 

**simeon**

lmao admit it u thought it was kinda hot tho seeing hyojong beat the shit out of someone

 

**hui**

I admit nothing

 

**jinho**

Oh Hui can you give me Hyuna's number?

 

**simeon**

why??????

 

**hongseok**

are u finally gonna make a move on her haha

 

**wooseok**

...oh my god

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**Gambling is BAD**

 

**captain walnut**

no one say anything

 

**yanan**

god theyre fucking hopeless

 

━☆ﾟ*･｡*･:

 

**pentagirls**

 

**hui**

Sure jinho gimme a sex

SEC I MEAN SEC

 

**wooseok**

HUI DHSNJCDHN

 

**yanan**

JDKSJFJSKFJSIKDIAKXNSM

 

**simeon**

hyojong isnt here rn

 

**hongseok**

disgUsTinG

 

**jinho**

Flattered but I'll pass

 

**hui**

Kill me

 

**yuto**

later

 

**hui**

??????????????

My own children?

Turning against me?

 

**yuto**

:)

 

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
>  
> 
> [ [cc ] [ ](https://curiouscat.me/wuju_lbx)[ twitter](https://twitter.com/wuju_lbx?s=09) ]


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